


slow cinnamon summer

by moondanse



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Small Town, Coming of Age, Enemies to Lovers, M/M, Panic Attacks, Skater Lee Donghyuck | Haechan, Teen Angst, Underage Drinking, Unreliable Narrator, chenji renmin and johnjae crumbs, various 00line cameos, various nct cameos, wrestler lee jeno
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-07
Updated: 2020-09-07
Packaged: 2021-03-07 00:46:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 20,142
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26148154
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moondanse/pseuds/moondanse
Summary: “Listen here, Jeno Lee,” Donghyuck spits, one hand jutting out to poke Jeno in his perfectly toned chest. “You may be pretty and charming, but if you think you can just swoop onto my turf and take everything from me, you’re dead wrong.”Jeno blinks, eyes wide, lips pursed. “Huh? I—wait. You think I’m pretty?”
Relationships: Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Lee Jeno
Comments: 48
Kudos: 249
Collections: NOHYUCK FEST: 정답!





	slow cinnamon summer

**Author's Note:**

> hello! welcome to my longest fic in recent history! i slaved away writing it and i put a lot of my heart and soul into donghyuck's character, so i really hope you enjoy it. 
> 
> some quick notes:  
> \- this takes place in a fictional american suburb. i'm sorry for any americanisms that seem out of place; i projected a lot of my own experiences growing up in a small town into this fic.  
> \- lots of anxiety, insecurities, and inner turmoil described within. if you don't do well with that sort of self-defeating angst, then i'd steer clear of this story.  
> \- tw for a vivid panic attack scene. if you'd like to skip it, it starts with "donghyuck runs up the stairs" and ends at the end of that scene.  
> \- mentions of underage drinking throughout.
> 
> i made a playlist for this [here](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4ulfFWpkjkCIBAfGJR8eDA?si=k3akaHfXTe282pMVN31lew)! thank you to yoon for giving me lots of song recs and moral support. and of course, thank you to the prompter and to everyone who helped me power through this, especially izzy who read the whole thing for me before posting and assured me it wasn't total shit. love u. <3
> 
> written for nohyuck fic fest prompt #JD028.

The wheels of Donghyuck’s skateboard click against the concrete as he makes his way through the neighborhood. The sun beats down on his skin, hot and insistent. In the distance he can hear the chiming melody of an ice cream truck. A cacophony of excited giggles follows, and Donghyuck swerves to the side to avoid the swarm of children. 

“Grab me a strawberry bar!” he shouts after them with a laugh. It’s a joke, but a small girl of about eight years old — one of Donghyuck’s next door neighbors — turns and flashes him a smile.

“Okay, Oppa!”

He waves at the mailman hunched over by the mailboxes, flashes a smile at the neighborhood aunties tending to their gardens. Someone leans out of a second story window of a nearby house and shouts his name. 

“Donghyuck!”

It’s Taeyong, one of the older neighborhood kids (well — they aren’t exactly kids anymore, but Donghyuck refuses to acknowledge that fact). Donghyuck’s known him since they were both small and their mothers brought them to the local park for play dates. He jumps off his skateboard, tucking it under his arms.

“What’s up?” he calls out to Taeyong. He lifts a hand over his eyes to shield them from the sun.

“Party at Johnny’s on Saturday!” Taeyong shouts. “Bring Jaemin!”

Donghyuck nods, smiles, and shoots Taeyong a thumbs up. Then he’s on his way again, board under his feet and wind in his hair. 

He turns into the cul-de-sac at the same time as the moving truck. Donghyuck stills as he watches the middle aged couple begin to unload their boxes. A sinking feeling fills his gut, all previous lightheartedness vanishing at the sight. He knew it wouldn’t be long until the new neighbors moved in, yet part of him had hoped it wouldn’t be so soon. He watches the couple for a few seconds longer before trudging through his own front door, casting his shoes off to the side with his board. 

“Oh, there you are,” his mother greets from the kitchen. She’s making some sort of stew for dinner. It smells delicious. “Come help me, would you? I’d like to give the new neighbors some of this and want to make sure it tastes good.”

Of course. The new neighbors. There’s that sinking feeling again, twisting his mouth into a frown. 

“They’re literally still moving in,” he says, though he sidles up next to his mom for a taste anyway. “You work fast.”

His mother brushes off his teasing and holds out a spoonful of stew for him to taste. Donghyuck takes it into his mouth without complaint. “They’re the first new neighbors we’ve had in years,” she says with a huff. “I want to make a good impression. Well? How is it?”

Donghyuck nods in approval. “Excellent,” he says. He glances at the pot on the stove with hungry eyes. “You’re not giving it all away, right?”

She laughs and swats away his prying hands. “No, don’t worry. There’ll be some left for supper.” She turns to give the stew a stir, and Donghyuck feels his stomach grumble. “Will you come with me to say hello? I heard they have a son around your age. You should befriend him.”

“No thanks.” The response is immediate, and Donghyuck feels his cheeks flush red when he realizes how rude he’s being. “I mean... do I have to?”

His mother gives him a knowing look. “Sweetheart,” she says with a sigh. “I know you miss Mark, but this could be an opportunity to—”

The doorbell rings and Donghyuck jumps to answer it. 

“Whoops, gotta go! Love you Mom!” he says with a nervous giggle. He plants a quick kiss on her cheek before bounding back down the hallway to the front door.

It’s the little girl from earlier. She holds out a strawberry ice cream bar with a smile. 

“Here you go, oppa!” she giggles. Donghyuck grins back at her and reaches out to ruffle her hair. He accepts the ice cream bar gratefully, immediately ripping open the plastic. 

“Thanks, Jihye. You’re an angel.”

Jihye giggles again, rocking back on her heels. “Welcome,” she says. “A bunch of us are going to draw a chalk town; want to come with?”

“Yes,” Donghyuck answers, grabbing his skateboard from where it rests against the wall. “Yes, I do.”

  
  


***

  
  


The front doors to the convenience store slide open, bells chiming overhead to announce his arrival. Donghyuck struts up to the counter like he owns the place. He sets down his skateboard with a sigh, resting his elbows next to the register.

“Candy bar me,” he huffs, holding out a hand.

The boy working the register snorts in amusement before reaching around to grab a chocolate bar. He tosses it to Donghyuck carelessly.

“Rough day?” he asks with a warm smile.

Donghyuck lets out a long labored sigh. “You have no idea, Jaem,” he says. He rips open the chocolate and takes a violent bite. “Our new neighbors moved in.”

The cashier, Jaemin, raises a brow. “Oh? What are they like?” There’s absolutely nobody in the store right now, so he doesn’t bother pretending to do his job. It’s late, almost midnight, and hardly anyone comes in around this time. He rips open a chocolate bar of his own without paying for it, knowing full well that his manager won’t do shit about it.

“Dunno,” Donghyuck says with a shrug. “Haven’t met them yet. But my parents are already being annoying about it.”

“How so?” Jaemin asks, mouth full of chocolate. Donghyuck rolls his eyes.

“They want me to be BFFs with their son or something. I guess he’s around our age. But joke’s on them, because I already have you and Mark.”

Jaemin hums in acknowledgement. He realizes immediately what this is about, and reaches out to pat Donghyuck’s shoulder sympathetically.

“He’s not replacing Mark,” Jaemin says. “Who knows, maybe he’s cool? You can have more than two friends, you know.”

Donghyuck scoffs and pushes Jaemin’s hand away. “No,” he says. “I’m good with my two friends, thanks.”

Jaemin sighs. He’s about to launch into a long lecture about the joys of friendship and opening yourself up to new experiences when the sliding doors chime again. Both of them look up, surprised by the sudden appearance of another customer.

“Welcome in,” Jaemin calls out halfheartedly. The newcomer, a young guy Donghyuck has never seen before, nods and then disappears into one of the aisles. Donghyuck stares after him.

“Who—?” His eyes follow the unfamiliar figure hungrily, taking in his toned arms and the perfect slope of his nose. He’s dressed plainly in a white muscle tank and sweatpants, round glasses perched on his face. He looks sleepy. Donghyuck doesn’t know whether to coo or drool. Maybe both.

Jaemin snorts. “No idea,” he says, not bothering to keep his voice down. “He’s hot though. Maybe it’s your new neighbor?”

“Oh god, don’t say that,” Donghyuck whispers. “And stop being so loud, he can totally hear you.”

Jaemin simply rolls his eyes. Their conversation peters out as they observe the newcomer. It isn’t often that they see new people around their age; most of their schoolmates they’ve known since early childhood. It’s the curse of living in a small town.

Either the new guy doesn’t feel them staring or he doesn’t care, because he continues looking through the products on the shelves in comfortable silence. After a few minutes he approaches the counter. Donghyuck stands up straight and takes a few steps back. Jaemin smiles one of his blinding grins at the stranger, who blinks back at him sleepily. 

“Hi,” Jaemin greets. “Find everything alright?”

The stranger nods. “Yeah, thanks,” he says. He places a box of light bulbs on the counter and Jaemin begins ringing them up. It’s quiet while the exchange happens; Jaemin looks like he wants to start a conversation but the boy seems about ready to fall asleep at any moment. Donghyuck watches from the side, munching on his chocolate bar quietly. 

“Have a nice night,” Jaemin says, handing the boy his light bulbs. 

“Thanks.” The boy nods again, then glances over at Donghyuck. They share an awkward stare for a good ten seconds before the stranger clears his throat and ducks his head. “Bye.”

Then he’s gone, just as quickly as he came. 

Jaemin blinks. “Well that was weird,” he says with a chuckle. 

Donghyuck can feel his cheeks heating up. He groans and smacks his forehead against the counter with a groan. 

“Seriously, fuck today.”

  
  


***

  
  


It’s not that Donghyuck hates making friends. He likes people just fine; in fact the friends he does have would likely argue that he’s a bit too affectionate. It’s just that he’s stubborn. He had a good thing going, was really looking forward to spending this summer with Jaemin and Mark and maybe Jaemin’s little brother if he felt like tagging along. But then Mark’s family had to go and ruin his plans by moving away. 

It doesn’t help that it’s their last summer together before graduation. Next year they’ll all be going their separate ways for college, and Donghyuck will have to leave behind the comfort and security he’s built in his hometown over the last seventeen years. 

It’s scary. Donghyuck _is someone_ here. People know him, love him. The neighborhood aunties gossip about him and all the local restaurants know his order. He’s established his place on the social hierarchy, knows who his friends are and who to avoid.

He doesn’t want to lose that.

Donghyuck returns from bothering Jaemin at work around one in the morning. He flops onto his bed with a heavy sigh and pulls out his phone. With Jaemin busy working the night shift, that leaves one person to entertain him before he falls asleep: Mark.

  
  


**duckie**

hey bitch

  
  


**abandon-er**

://// hey hyuck

  
  


**duckie**

oh good ur up  
so i’m gonna need u to come back.

  
  


**abandon-er**

haha  
why, do u miss me? :)

  
  


**duckie**

i’m just bored without u!  
jaem has been working night shifts at the corner store  
tf am i supposed to do, wander around town by myself?

  
  


**abandon-er**

u could sleep

  
  


**duckie**

yeah right  
it’s summer, mark

  
  


**abandon-er**

so? does ur body suddenly stop needing rest in the summer?

  
  


**duckie**

no  
but i woke up at eleven   
i refuse to go to bed yet 

  
  


**abandon-er**

then don’t  
watch something, idk  
read a book

  
  


**duckie**

nerd  
ur no help

  
  


**abandon-er**

then why are u texting me  
go bother someone else :P

  
  


**duckie**

i have two friends, mark

  
  


**abandon-er**

wdym? everyone loves u  
the whole town like, worships u  
everyone is ur friend

  
  


**duckie**

well yeah but those ppl don’t rly know me  
only u and jaem and i guess jisung know the real me  
everyone else is more of an acquaintance 

  
  


**abandon-er**

then make more friends?

  
  


**duckie**

ugh u sound like jaemin

  
  


**abandon-er**

we just care about u hyuck  
also i’m trying to sleep so u need to find someone else to bother :)  
goodnight

  
  


**duckie**

fuckin useless to me

  
  


**abandon-er**

goodnight hyuckie <3

  
  


**duckie**

goodnight markie -.-

  
  


Donghyuck sighs and rolls over onto his side. This is going to be a long summer.

  
  


***

  
  


Donghyuck wakes up early the next morning to the sunlight streaming in through his window. He groans, cursing the Donghyuck of the past for not thinking to close his curtains. One glance at his phone tells him it’s 9AM — he sighs, knowing it’s too late to justify going back to sleep but also much earlier than he would have liked to wake up. 

Slowly, he drags himself out of bed. It’s a short stumble to his window, and Donghyuck reaches for his curtains sleepily. He’s about to close them when something across the way catches his eye and stalls his movement.

Donghyuck’s window faces the side of his neighbors’ house. What used to be Mark’s bedroom window sits parallel to his, giving him a perfect view inside. Once upon a time the two best friends used to communicate across the short gap late at night, sometimes even flying paper airplanes back and forth like grade schoolers. Now Donghyuck looks through the glass window pane and sees an unfamiliar room. Mark’s old Space Jam poster is gone, replaced by a mirror. His own face stares back at him, nose scrunched and mouth set in a frown.

But it’s not the decorative changes within the room that catch Donghyuck off guard. It’s the young boy sitting perched on the edge of the bed, pulling his t-shirt over his head. His new neighbor. 

His _hot_ new neighbor, Donghyuck’s brain supplies as he stares at the now shirtless figure before him. It’s the boy from the convenience store, which shouldn’t come as a surprise, and yet it takes Donghyuck a moment to process this fact. He looks just as sleepy as he had last night, rubbing at his eyes and yawning. The same sweatpants he wore into Jaemin’s shop sit low on his waist. Donghyuck takes note of his slender hips and toned abs and wonders briefly if the boy realizes his curtains are drawn. He sort of hopes he doesn’t, because he’s quite enjoying the view.

Not a minute later, the boy glances up and into his mirror, running a hand through his messy hair. He freezes as he catches Donghyuck’s eyes within the reflection. Donghyuck freezes, too, and feels his face flush red with embarrassment.

For a moment they simply stare at each other. It’s not unlike the peculiar moment they’d shared in the store last night, but this time Donghyuck feels like he’s been caught doing something wrong. Maybe because he has. Staring at your half naked neighbor through their bedroom window is probably classified as a crime, but to be fair, he didn’t mean to...!

Donghyuck coughs, flustered, and pulls his curtains shut violently. For what feels like the fiftieth time this summer already, he finds himself wishing that Mark hadn’t moved away.

  
  


***

  
  


“I hate him,” Donghyuck declares with a huff. He sits at the edge of the skate ramp, legs dangling as he watches Jisung and his friend, Chenle, attempt stupid tricks. Jaemin snickers from where he stands over Donghyuck, his own skateboard perched next to him. 

“You don’t even know him,” he says with a laugh.

“Doesn’t matter. I don’t know Donald Trump, but I hate him, too.”

“I think that’s a bit different.”

He scoffs. “Whatever.”

“I don’t see what the problem is,” Chenle piques up, “New people never move here, especially not people our age. But you’ve been blessed with a hot new neighbor. This is practically the perfect scenario! You should seduce him.”

Jaemin bursts into satisfied laughter. “Exactly! I like the way you think, Chenle.”

“Um, no,” Donghyuck says with a frown. “There will be no seducing happening between me and my hot neighbor. He is the Enemy, and I hate him.”

The laughter dies down, Jaemin’s smile falling into a pout. “Well if you’re not going to go for him,” he whines, “can I? He’s hot as hell.”

“No! He is the _enemy!”_ Donghyuck throws his hands up in the air, frustrated. “Do you people have no loyalty? What about Mark?”

“What _about_ Mark? Hyuck, I doubt he cares if we make new friends.”

“Well, I care.”

Jaemin sighs. “You are so stubborn. At least introduce yourself.”

“Yeah,” Chenle adds. “Keep your friends close and your enemies closer, or whatever.”

There’s a stretch of silence as Donghyuck considers this. Finally, he lets out a heavy sigh, knowing there’s no point in arguing with his friends. 

“...fine.”

Jaemin cheers. Chenle smirks. From where he’s just totally beefed it and now lies splayed on the concrete, Jisung sends a thumbs up.

“Good boy,” Jaemin says, clapping Donghyuck on the back.

Donghyuck shoots him the middle finger and hops on his board. He’s determined to skate his frustrations away, and isn’t going to spend another second thinking about this.

  
  


***

  
  


After a few days of intentionally avoiding so much as looking at his window and drinking his woes away at Johnny’s, Donghyuck decides he could probably stand to get over himself a little bit. His hand hovers over the wood of the neighbor’s front door as he contemplates his existence.

It feels foreign, knocking. When Mark and his family inhabited this house Donghyuck would simply barge in whenever he pleased. Mark was never very happy about it, of course, but he grew to expect his best friend's sudden appearance at any time. He only needed to keep his bedroom door unlocked once to learn that the hard way.

Donghyuck knocks three times and takes a step back. 

Nobody answers.

Frustrated, he looks over at the car in the driveway and frowns. They’ve got to be home — either that or out on a walk somewhere. Donghyuck lets out an annoyed sigh and cranes his neck to see if he can catch any sight of movement from inside. Nothing.

He only waits a few more seconds, unwilling to waste any more of his precious summer, before hopping back onto his skateboard.

Well, maybe he’ll go bother Jisung and see if he wants to go cool off in the creek.

The trek to Jaemin and Jisung’s house is like second nature to Donghyuck. He’s been there so many times that he hardly needs to think about where he’s going — so he _doesn’t_ think about it, instead stares at the peculiar shape of the clouds and wonders if wherever he ends up next year, the sky will look the same. 

“Watch out!” a voice calls out, but Donghyuck processes it a moment too late. He swerves to the side a little too violently and is thrown off of his skateboard, hands splaying out in front of him to catch his fall.

“Fuck,” he hisses on impact. He hears the slap of sandals on concrete coming closer as the owner of the voice jogs towards him. 

“Shit, are you okay?” the hot new neighbor asks, because of course it’s him. Who else would it be? He leans over Donghyuck’s sorry form, bottom lip tucked between his teeth and face scrunched with concern. The neckline of his shirt dips down as he leans, revealing collarbones and the smallest, smoothest expanse of chest. Donghyuck feels his cheeks heat up. 

“Fine,” he spits, wiping his bloody hands on his jeans. 

The boy eyes him carefully and holds out a hand. “I’m Jeno,” he says, eyes crinkling up in a tentative smile. “I think we’re neighbors? Sorry about the, uh, obstacle course— we were—”

“Jeno oppa!”

The boy — _Jeno_ — straightens up. “Jihye. You should pick up your things; it’s dangerous for others…”

Donghyuck looks from Jeno’s still outstretched hand, to the box of chalk half emptied into the road, to the bright eyes of the little girl approaching them.

“Oh, Hyuck oppa!” Jihye says, seemingly noticing him for the first time. Donghyuck feels something like bitterness bubbling up inside of him. He ignores Jeno’s attempt at helping him and clambers up on his own, wincing at the burn stinging into his palms. Jihye seems unconcerned: “Jeno oppa and I are drawing an animal hospital!” she continues. “Look, you’re standing in the kitty room right now!”

He barely spares a glance down at the chalk drawings at his feet, now smudged from where he had fallen. He’s distracted by the fact that _Jeno oppa_ is apparently now Jihye’s best friend, that she’s completely forgotten about their chalk town already. He knows it’s silly to feel jealous because of an eight year old, but Donghyuck can’t help the uneasy feeling in his gut. Jeno’s been here less than a week and he’s already replacing not only Mark, but him as well.

He swallows down the sourness in his throat and coughs.

“Great, well, I gotta go,” he says, rough and rushed. Jeno gives him a look somewhere between confusion and concern, which Donghyuck pointedly ignores. He reaches over for his skateboard, discarded in the street, and tucks it under his arm. 

He’s off without a second glance. 

  
  


***

  
  


**duckie**

mark, u have to move back immediately

  
  


**abandon-er**

hahaha why whats wrong this time :P

  
  


**duckie**

i met ur replacement

  
  


**abandon-er**

my replacement :'(

  
  


**duckie**

dont worry he sucks  
i hate him u have to fix this  
COME BACK i refuse to live next to this dickhole

  
  


**abandon-er**

wow is he that bad ?  
what'd he do

  
  


**duckie**

hes just the worst!!!!  
thinks hes better than everyone  
just bc hes got the whole neighborhood falling at his feet  
ugh i wanna punch him in his stupid pretty face

  
  


**abandon-er**

oh i see  
:-)

  
  


**duckie**

what .

  
  


**abandon-er**

he's pretty huh?  
;)))))

  
  


**duckie**

beside the point mark !  
he's an asshole  
everyone loves him and its so annoying

  
  


**abandon-er**

sounds like u also love him ;))))

  
  


**duckie**

no bitch can u read  
i hate him  
i dont trust his fake smile one bit  
hes hiding smth, trust me

  
  


**abandon-er**

so wait is there actually any concrete reason why you don't like him  
cuz rn it sounds like ur just reaching  
like rly far

  
  


**duckie**

well for starters he replaced u

  
  


**abandon-er**

.. aw  
hyuckie :(  
that's actually so sweet haha  
but not a reason to hate someone i think

  
  


**duckie**

shut up  
i also dont like his vibe  
i just dont trust him ok  
hes like.. TOO perfect, nobody is that perfect

  
  


**abandon-er**

hmmmm

  
  


**duckie**

dont hmm me  
move back :(((

  
  


**abandon-er**

i can't, we've been over this :(  
i'll come visit soon, ok?  
try not to kill ur hot neighbor in the meantime haha

  
  


**duckie**

no promises hyung u.u

  
  


***

  
  


Donghyuck knows it’s a relatively small town, but the amount he runs into Jeno after that has to be some sort of cruel joke. He sees him when he goes to check the mail, when he’s picking up groceries for his mom, when he’s getting a smoothie at the gas station. Jeno offers him one of his perfect smiles each time, eyes scrunched into gentle crescents. It’s infuriating. He’s infuriating.

His friends continue to give him a hard time. They don’t seem to understand why he dislikes the boy so much. Donghyuck explains that Jeno is a _threat_ , that he is disrupting the delicate balance of their last summer together. Even Jaemin, normally his partner in dramatics, says he’s overreacting. Donghyuck feels betrayed.

Sure, Jeno hasn’t really done anything wrong. But his presence is enough to throw everything in Donghyuck’s carefully curated life off kilter, and he has always been the type to hold grudges.

“Oh, Ms. Norris was wondering if you’re available to watch her dogs for a few days,” Donghyuck’s mother asks. She’s hovering in the kitchen, baking something or other while Donghyuck scarfs down his cereal. 

“Where’s she going?” he asks, mouth full of Lucky Charms. His mother gives him a chastising look and he sheepishly swallows.

“She’s traveling to Florida to see her son for a week,” his mother says. “Jeno is going to watch the dogs for a few days, but he could use some help during the others. She’ll pay you.”

At the mention of Jeno, his throat turns sour. “If she’s already asked him, then why does she need me?” he scoffs. Hostility drips from his voice, and his mother gives him a curious look. It’s not often that Donghyuck is openly unfriendly. Everyone in town adores him, and he loves Ms. Norris like a second mother. But everyone adores Jeno, too, despite his only living here for a week. That’s the _problem_.

“Well, I think she assumed you’d split the job.” His mother speaks slowly, unsure why her son is behaving so harshly. “She even suggested the two of you work together. It’d be a nice opportunity to get to know each other. He seems like a lovely boy.”

“No.” Donghyuck leaves no time for arguments. He shuffles past his mother to place his now empty bowl in the sink. “If he’s doing it, then I don’t want to.”

His mother is stunned into silence long enough for Donghyuck to scoot out of the kitchen and grab his shoes.

“I’m going to Jaemin’s,” he calls out. “Might be out late. Don’t wait up.”

He doesn’t wait for an answer.

  
  


***

  
  


He’s used to seeing Jeno everywhere now. Used to ignoring the bright smiles thrown his way, used to the uneasy feeling of his heart flipping around in his chest. Jeno is clearly attempting some sort of friendship — or maybe he thinks they already have one, for whatever reason — and Donghyuck is determined not to give in.

“Hey!” Jeno greets. 

Donghyuck scowls from his bedroom desk, cursing the summer heat for making him keep the window open. Jeno stands at the window across the way, that dumb grin on his face and his hand lifted in a wave.

“Can’t even catch a break in my own home,” Donghyuck grumbles. He turns towards Jeno and offers a meek wave of his own. “Hey.”

Jeno softens, seemingly pleased by the response. “How’s it going, Hyuck?”

Donghyuck’s cheeks burn red at the nickname and he freezes. “Don’t call me that,” he says, a bit harsher than intended.

“What?”

“Only my friends call me Hyuck.”

Across the way, Jeno tilts his head to the side. “Isn’t... isn’t that your name?”

He sighs. Of course — he’d never properly introduced himself. “Donghyuck,” he says. “Donghyuck Lee. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m busy, and you’re distracting me.”

Perhaps he’s being unnecessarily rude, but one conversation (if you can even call it that) with Jeno has him exhausted. He moves to shut his curtains, not bothering to wait for a response, and leans back in his desk chair with a heavy sigh. He’s not actually busy, but he _is_ distracted. 

Jeno is not a welcome distraction.

Not moments later, Donghyuck’s phone vibrates. He stares at the message with wide eyes.

  
  


**unknown number**

jeno lee. we have the same last name ^^

  
  


Confusion settles over him, muddling his brain.

  
  


**donghyuck**

excuse me?? how did you get my number?

  
  


Jeno answers almost instantly. Donghyuck tries not to let that set his heart racing, but he’s always been easily won over with attention. He reminds himself that this is _Jeno_ , the Enemy. He will not be fooled.

  
  


**jeno**

ms. norris gave it to me.   
i know ur busy rn but i meant to text u earlier   
can u help with the dogs?

  
  


Right. The dogs.

  
  


**donghyuck**

i told her i didn’t want to do it

  
  


**jeno**

oh :((( ok

  
  


**donghyuck**

yeah

  
  


**jeno**

well, i’ll leave you alone now n___n   
have a good day donghyuck

  
  


**donghyuck**

bye

  
  


Donghyuck groans. Stupid Ms. Norris and her disregard for anyone’s privacy. Stupid Jeno and his stupid smile and even stupider emoticons. Stupid architects for designing their windows to face each other. Stupid Mark for moving away.

And there it is again, that ache in his chest. Donghyuck wishes his summer wasn’t being ruined by sentimentality, but here he is, missing the days when he and Jaemin and Mark would spend hours together doing nothing at all. Now Jaemin spends all his time working at the convenience store, and Mark is in another country entirely. 

Donghyuck feels like he’s being left behind. And as much as Jeno Lee may want to be his friend, all he’ll ever be is a reminder of how lonely he’s become.

  
  


***

  
  


He can deal with seeing Jeno around the neighborhood. After all, they _are_ next door neighbors. It’s only to be expected. He can even tolerate his occasional appearance at Jaemin’s store, though he’d really prefer if he shopped somewhere else. But the skate park? No, that’s where Donghyuck draws the line.

The skate park is Donghyuck’s safe place. If this town is his kingdom, then the skate park is his throne room. It’s his haven, his sanctuary, the place he feels most at home. He will not allow Jeno to ruin that for him.

And yet here he is. Donghyuck recognizes his companion as Renjun Huang, a boy in their grade at school whom he’s never been particularly close with. He wouldn’t peg Renjun as the type of guy to visit a place as dingy as the skate park. He’s always seemed too _pure_ to associate with boys like Donghyuck and Jaemin. So then what are they doing here? Can’t they see they aren’t welcome?

Jaemin can sense the tension radiating off of Donghyuck’s body in waves. He looks up at Jeno and Renjun and smiles a mischievous smile. Chenle sips on a smoothie nearby while Jisung fixes his helmet. And Donghyuck?

Donghyuck is absolutely _fuming,_ the tips of ears glowing red with anti-Jeno rage. He shoves his skateboard into Jisung’s unsuspecting arms and marches straight towards the two newcomers.

“Listen here, Jeno Lee,” Donghyuck spits, one hand jutting out to poke Jeno in his perfectly toned chest. “You may be pretty and charming, but if you think you can just swoop onto _my_ turf and take everything from me, you’re dead wrong.”

Jeno blinks, eyes wide, lips pursed. “Huh? I—wait.” Donghyuck watches in mild disgust (read: fascination) as his cheeks flush pink. “You think I’m pretty?”

Jaemin lets out a bellowing laugh from where he is sitting cross-legged on the concrete. Donghyuck sends him a sharp glare before turning back to Jeno with a huff. “That’s—” he starts, flustered. “Not the point. Is it not enough that you can see into my bedroom? You have to show up here, too? Get out. This is my spot.”

“I’m sorry, we were just—” Jeno begins to defend himself, eyes wide like a lost puppy, but Renjun interrupts him.

“What the fuck is your problem?” he snaps. For a moment Donghyuck is caught off guard — he’s hardly heard Renjun say anything before, let alone “fuck.” Jaemin seems equally surprised and hides an amused snicker behind his hand. 

“You don’t own the skate park,” Renjun continues, crossing his arms over his chest. “And Jeno hasn’t done anything to you. Get off your fucking high horse. Come on, Jen. Let’s go. This place reeks of asshole.”

Renjun grabs Jeno’s wrist and gently pulls him away. Jeno stumbles after him. Before they can get too far, however, he glances back and offers Donghyuck a meek, apologetic smile.

Donghyuck is too stunned by this unexpected side of Renjun and by Jeno’s unwavering kindness that he doesn’t have time to retort. Instead he simply stares after them, blinking, feeling his cheeks heat up in embarrassment.

What the fuck is his problem, indeed.

  
  
  


***

  
  


**unknown number**

leave jeno alone

  
  


For a moment Donghyuck considers changing his phone number. Clearly he’s given it out to too many people who are willing to hand it off to others, and he’s tired of getting texts from unknown numbers. 

He sighs and runs a hand through his hair. 

**donghyuck**

who the fuck are u

  
  


Of course, he has a pretty good idea of who it is, though he has no idea how Renjun could have gotten his number. They aren’t friends, but if he’s going to start the conversation that way, then Donghyuck sees no need to be friendly.

  
  


**renjun**

renjun huang  
jeno’s friend  
and i’m here to tell you to leave him alone

  
  


**donghyuck**

i don’t know what ur talking about

  
  


**renjun**

we both know that’s a lie  
look, idk why you hate him so much, but jeno is a good dude  
he’s literally just vibing and you're making him sad  
he’s too kind to tell you to fuck off so i’ll do it instead  
fuck off :-)

  
  


Donghyuck’s chest tightens a bit at the thought of a sad Jeno. He can almost picture the look on his face, eyes round and lips turned into a pout. God dammit… Why does he have to be so cute?

He briefly wonders how much Jeno has told Renjun about him, and what he’s been saying. If he really is bothered by the way he’s acted, if the soft smile he so often gives him is genuine. Not that he’s ever going to ask.

Instead he continues to antagonize Renjun, because something about him just makes him want to push all his buttons. 

  
  


**donghyuck**

yeah? or what?

  
  


The little ellipses pop up almost immediately, and Donghyuck chuckles to himself as he imagines Renjun angrily typing away. Too easy.

  
  


**renjun**

or i’ll kill you

  
  


**donghyuck**

id like to see u try ;P

  
  


**renjun**

i’m serious donghyuck   
stop being an asshole  
jeno likes you for whatever reason  
he just wants to be your friend  
the least you could do is treat him like a human being

  
  


Donghyuck finds himself faltering a bit. He hasn’t been _that_ bad, has he?

  
  


**donghyuck**

he likes me?

  
  


**renjun**

that’s what you took from that?  
you’re so self centered  
fuck off, donghyuck.  
you don’t deserve jeno lee.

  
  


He doesn’t answer after that. He’s too afraid that Renjun will somehow be able to see right through him, that he’ll somehow know that’s exactly what he’s afraid of.

  
  


***

  
  


Donghyuck is watching a movie on his laptop when he senses movement from the window across the way. He looks up, a snide comment about distractions on the tip of his lips, and freezes. 

Jeno isn’t just moving around. He’s throwing things out of his window: a blanket, something fluffy (is that a stuffed cat?), a bag. Donghyuck briefly wonders why he’s tossing his things outside like a maniac when he notices _where_ he’s tossing them — onto the small rooftop ledge just to the right of his window. 

The window opens wider, and Jeno climbs up and onto the edge, hands gripping the walls around him to steady himself. 

Donghyuck pokes his head outside. 

“What the _fuck_ are you doing?”

Jeno squeaks. One of his feet nearly slips from its precarious perch on the window sill, but he quickly regains his balance. He looks up at Donghyuck, eyes wide with surprise as if he isn’t the one _literally_ climbing out of a second story window. 

“You startled me,” he says. “I could have fallen.”

Donghyuck scoffs. “Well, you should have thought of that before sticking your entire body out the window. Seriously, what the fuck? Are you trying to sneak out or something?”

Jeno doesn’t strike Donghyuck as the _sneaking out_ type (he’s far too perfect and amiable and sweet for that), but there seems to be no other explanation for this strange behavior. 

“I personally would have used the blanket to rappel down, but if you want to break your bones, be my guest,” Donghyuck continues. Jeno laughs, and he scrunches his nose up in distaste — what’s so funny about broken bones? 

“I’m not sneaking out,” Jeno says with an easy smile. He doesn’t elaborate any further than that. Instead, he shifts his body, stretching one of his legs over to reach the ledge he’d thrown his things on earlier. Donghyuck’s eyes nearly bulge out his head as he watches Jeno quite literally jump the gap between his window sill and the rooftop ledge, not an apparent care in the world. 

_“Are you fucking crazy?!”_

Jeno ignores him and gathers his things before climbing onto the rooftop proper. Donghyuck watches in disbelief as he begins spreading out the blanket. 

“What?” Jeno calls out after thirty whole seconds of judgmental silence. He’s lying on the blanket now, body twisted to face Donghyuck’s window. “Care to join me?”

“I think the fuck not,” Donghyuck scoffs. “Have fun freezing to death out there, idiot.”

He closes his bedroom window, blocking out the sounds of Jeno’s laughter, and gets back to work. 

But not for long. There’s something about the casual way Jeno _jumped out the fucking window_ that has him too distracted to focus. Annoyed, Donghyuck pulls out his phone and snaps a photo of Jeno splayed out on the roof.

  
  


**duckie**

is this motherfucker for real?   
[img attached]

**abandon-er**

???? is that jeno?? on the roof ???   
how did he even get up there

  
  


**duckie**

jumped from the window  
he thinks he’s part cat or smth  
he asked me to join him

  
  


**abandon-er**

looooool so are u gonna :)  
isn’t that like a classic romcom thing haha  
rooftops are romantic right

  
  


**duckie**

shut the fuck up i’m going to bed

  
  


**abandon-er**

with jeno?

  
  


**duckie**

no bitch  
with a headache

  
  


**abandon-er**

hahahahahah

  
  


Donghyuck doesn’t sleep too well that night. He blames it all on Jeno. He’d shown up in each one of his dreams, falling from windows and dragging Donghyuck down with him. 

  
  


***

  
  


Finally, _finally,_ Jaemin has an evening off. They decide to celebrate by going to their favorite 24-Hour diner. Jisung brings Chenle along, making it four of them rather than the usual three. Donghyuck wishes it could be five. There’s a Mark shaped hole in his heart, and extremely sugary waffles can only fill it so much.

They sit at the usual table — a booth near the window. It’s late, because there’s nothing like gorging yourself on breakfast food in the middle of the night. The sun has set and the air is cool, giving them a much needed break from the overbearing summer heat.

“Hey losers,” the waitress, a girl in their year named Heejin, greets. “Been a while. What’ll it be this time?”

“Heejinnie~” Jaemin immediately turns on the sickeningly sweet charm, chin pooled in his hands and elbows on the table. “How are you? You’re looking so pretty today, as usual.”

Heejin rolls her eyes. “Fine,” she says. “Are you trying to get extra whipped cream for free or something? Stop looking at me like that.”

Jaemin pouts and Donghyuck hides a snort behind his hand. “We’ll have the usual combos, plus one for Jisung’s boyfriend,” he says. 

“He’s not my boyfriend—”

“Four waffle combos, got it,” Heejin nods. Her ponytail whips behind her as she turns to put their orders in. Jaemin watches her, slightly defeated, and slumps in his seat.

“Don’t forget; no strawberries on mine!” he calls out as an afterthought as she retreats. Heejin lifts a hand in acknowledgment.

“No strawberries? Weirdo,” Chenle scoffs.

Jaemin frowns. “They’re nasty.”

“Suit yourself.”

The rest of the evening is spent catching up, gossiping about what the next school year will be like and making summer plans. Heejin ends up sitting with them for most of her shift, only getting up to wipe down tables when she feels the kitchen staff might snitch to her boss about her inactivity. But business is slow at this time, and only one other group comes in for the several hours they’re there. (A group of sophomores, clearly high out of their minds. They wave enthusiastically, and Jisung pretends not to know them.)

Chenle wants to go river rafting — his uncle owns a raft and could definitely take them. Jaemin wants to spend his summer shopping, maybe dye his hair (“It’s senior year, you know? Go out with a bang.”). Heejin invites them to a few dance events she and her girlfriend are attending, which Jisung seems particularly excited about. By the time 1am rolls around, Donghyuck is feeling much happier about his summer prospects than he was this morning.

“Hey, have you guys met the new guy yet?” Heejin asks. “Maybe we should invite him to hang with us. I’m sure he could use some friends before school starts up again.”

At the mention of Jeno, three pairs of eyes turn towards Donghyuck. He freezes. 

“Unfortunately, yes,” he sighs. “We’re neighbors.”

Heejin snaps her fingers, as if she’s only just remembered Mark isn’t where he should be. “Oh my god, that’s right,” she says. “Lucky you. I heard he’s really hot.”

“Oh, he is.” Jaemin’s grin is so wide, Donghyuck wants to smack it right off his face. 

“We are _not_ inviting Jeno,” he says with a frown. “Besides, he’s already made friends with Renjun. He doesn’t need us.”

“Ooh, Renjun is cute too. I dunno, I think we should invite them! Don’t be shy, Hyuckie~”

At this point Jaemin is just saying whatever the fuck he wants to to piss off Donghyuck. It earns him a swift kick to the shin from underneath the table. He winces, and Heejin laughs.

“What’s your problem with Jeno? You got a crush on him or something?” she asks, eyebrow raised.

Donghyuck blushes. “No,” he says.

Simultaneously, Jaemin answers: “Something like that.”

Donghyuck kicks him again. It’s times like these, when his best friend is being insufferable, that he really, really misses Mark.

  
  


***

  
  


When he makes it back to his room, his eyes instinctually drift towards the window. As luck would have it, Jeno is there, blanket and stuffed cat in hand. He gives a tentative wave and a smile, and something inside Donghyuck seizes up in anticipation. Hm.

He thinks about Renjun telling him that Jeno likes him, that he wants to be his friend. That he’s _making him sad._

He pulls out his phone.

  
  


**donghyuck**

what are u doing?  
not parkour-ing to the roof again i hope?

  
  


Jeno is confused for a moment, but a smile blooms onto his face when he reads the text message. His tongue pokes out in concentration as he types his response, and Donghyuck tries a little too hard not to stare.

  
  


**jeno**

i am!! :D  
wanna come with?  
i'll help u up

**donghyuck**

...  
sure

  
  


It's an impulse, a whim. And that's how Donghyuck finds himself climbing up the side of his neighbors' house, using Jeno's hands as leverage to pull himself up and onto the roof.

“I still think you’re crazy for coming up here,” Donghyuck says after his breathing has evened out. Both his voice and his limbs are shaky as he focuses on maintaining his balance.

Jeno smiles at him, crescent eyes matching the moon up above. “Well, you followed me, so that must mean you’re crazy, too.”

“Must be,” Donghyuck grumbles. He takes a tentative seat next to Jeno, unsure why he’s followed him in the first place. They aren’t even friends. Donghyuck hates heights. He hates _Jeno._ What the fuck was he thinking?

"Make yourself comfortable," Jeno says as he stretches out on the blanket like a cat. He pillows his head on his arms and stares at the sky with a content smile. Donghyuck frowns.

"So, like, what do you even do up here?" he asks. So far this whole ordeal seems pretty boring. There's not even music. Donghyuck wants to know how one person can stand to lay in silence like this for more than a few minutes. Jeno Lee must really be an alien.

"Not much, really," Jeno says with an easy shrug. "I lay here and think. Stare at the stars. You couldn't see them at my old place. I missed them."

Okay, he's definitely an alien. "You missed... stars?" Donghyuck asks, incredulous.

"Yeah," Jeno says. "Can't see them in the city. Too much air pollution and light. But here the sky is so clear — you can see everything. It's beautiful, don't you think?"

Donghyuck wants to choke on his own spit. Who knew: Jeno Lee, alien romantic.

"I guess," he says. He takes a moment to look up at the sky. It _is_ beautiful, objectively speaking, but he still doesn't quite understand why Jeno looks at it with such reverence. They're just stars. They're the same every night, but like... shifted over slightly. What's the big deal?

"It's comforting to think that the world is bigger than this," Jeno suddenly says, as if reading his mind. Donghyuck blinks, startled, and looks over at his neighbor. Jeno's got that soft look in his eyes again, and Donghyuck feels his heart stutter. "Bigger than us, that is. There's so much more out there than we can even begin to comprehend. Makes me feel a little less alone, I guess. Like no matter what, there are infinite possibilities hidden in those stars. We're just living in one of them."

Donghyuck can't decide if Jeno is incredibly insightful or incredibly simplistic. "Dude. Are you high?"

"Nah," Jeno chuckles. "Just sentimental."

He gets that. Donghyuck has spent the first few weeks of summer so far reminiscing on the past and fearing for the future, so he _really_ gets that. Maybe he and Jeno aren’t so different, after all.

“I see.” It’s all he can manage to muster up in response.

An uncomfortable silence follows. Or at least for Donghyuck it’s uncomfortable — Jeno looks as cozy as he can be huddled up on his blanket. Donghyuck tries to distract himself from the quiet by thinking about literally anything but Jeno: what he’s going to do tomorrow, if he should buy the new video game he’s been eyeing or save his money. It only works for about three minutes before his eyes are drifting back towards the boy next to him.

He’s practically glowing under the moonlight. Jeno looks so peaceful, so pretty. So _soft_. For a moment Donghyuck almost forgets that he’s supposed to hate him.

Then suddenly Jeno’s eyes snap open, and Donghyuck feels caught. 

“Are you hungry?” Jeno asks. The question seems innocent enough, but Donghyuck can’t help but feel like it’s a trick somehow. The confusion must show on his face, because Jeno chuckles, then sits up to rummage through his bag. “Want a protein bar?” 

Donghyuck stares at the small packaged snack that Jeno holds out to him and shakes his head.

“Uh, no thanks,” he says. 

Jeno shrugs, then rips into the plastic with his teeth. “Suit yourself,” he says, taking a bite. “Let me know if you change your mind. I have more.”

“So you just carry snacks around everywhere you go?” Donghyuck is a bit perplexed by this discovery, but as he says it out loud, it seems less ridiculous and more like the best idea he’s ever heard. Maybe Jeno Lee is onto something.

Another shrug. “I guess? I have a lot of these on hand because I’m trying to bulk up for wrestling in the fall.”

“Wrestling.” It comes out as a statement, not a question, because of _course_ Jeno is a jock. Donghyuck feels his throat go a little dry as he imagines those arms getting even more muscular than they already are. He coughs.

“Yeah. Do you play any sports?”

“No,” Donghyuck answers. “I mean I skate, but not competitively or anything.”

“Right.” Jeno nods in understanding, and Donghyuck feels his cheeks flush red as he remembers eating shit on the concrete in front of him. Certainly not his best first (second? third?) impression.

“I usually don’t end up on the ground, though,” he defends himself. As if he has something to prove — as if to say _hey, I’m cool and athletic, too._ “I promise that was a fluke.”

Jeno laughs, and the sound is so sweet and smooth that it makes Donghyuck’s insides melt. It’s a dangerous feeling, one that he tries to push down as deep as it will possibly go.

“I’m sure it was,” Jeno says with a smile. 

Silence falls over them again, and Jeno eases back into a lying position, resting his head on his arms and staring up at the sky.

Donghyuck tries to stare at the sky, too, but it’s a lot easier said than done.

  
  


***

  
  


**duckie**

mark,,, i have a PROBLEM

  
  


**abandon-er**

what did you do this time?

  
  


**duckie**

YE OF LITTLE FAITH  
i didn’t do anything!

  
  


**abandon-er**

hmmmmm :/  
then what’s this problem you speak of

  
  


**duckie**

it’s jeno.  
he’s… c— c-  
i cant even say it

  
  


**abandon-er**

you are so dramatic   
are u stuttering over text?  
just spit it out

  
  


**duckie**

ur so mean to me  
jeno. he’s cute.

  
  


**abandon-er**

hahahahahaha  
and this is a problem why?  
i thought we already established this 

  
  


**duckie**

no, we established that he’s hot  
pretty, whatever  
i didn’t know he was like. endearing  
like his personality   
he’s so soft? what the fuck?

  
  


**abandon-er**

ooooh  
so ur warming up to him?

  
  


**duckie**

no!  
idk  
he’s still the enemy  
but gdi he’s kind of adorable   
makes it harder to hate him 

  
  


**abandon-er**

why do we hate him again?  
i don’t get it 

  
  


**duckie**

because, mark  
he’s ruining summer  
disrupting the status quo

  
  


**abandon-er**

riiiiiight  
*pretends to understand*

  
  


**duckie**

u are no help.  
idk why i came to u for this

  
  


**abandon-er**

yeah idk why you did either lol

  
  


**duckie**

sigh

  
  


**abandon-er**

go to sleep, hyuckie.  
you’re thinking too hard.

  
  


**duckie**

sigh,, fine  
ily gn <3

  
  


**abandon-er**

love u too hyuck.  
night

  
  


***

  
  


Johnny buys himself a used old pickup truck, which means a number of things, but most importantly: it means tailgating. He invites Donghyuck and Jaemin out to the abandoned park-and-ride on a Friday night, another miraculous day off for Jaemin. He assures them there will be snacks, and music, and cleverly disguised alcohol. Donghyuck can’t wait.

He expects the usual crowd: Johnny, Taeyong, Jaehyun. Maybe Doyoung. What he _doesn’t_ expect to see is Jeno and Renjun, armed with a six pack of soda and some blankets. Maybe he should have expected it, but he didn’t, and the sight of the two of them knocks the wind out of him for a brief moment.

Jaemin nudges him in the side. “Well well well, who do we have here?” he snickers. Donghyuck recognizes the light in his eyes as the seed of mischief and groans.

“Jaem, no. No shenanigans tonight. I just want to have fun,” he whines. Across the parking lot, Jeno places the things he and Renjun had brought into the bed of Johnny’s truck. The distant sounds of raucous laughter hang in the air as some of the older guys start setting up, throwing blankets around and spraying each other with beer.

( _Cleverly disguised_. Right, well, if they get busted for giving minors alcohol in public — Johnny’s the one taking the fall.)

“Who says you aren’t going to have fun?” Jaemin goads, pulling on Donghyuck’s arm. “Come on, let’s go join them. There’s no way we’re all fitting in that truck bed and I want to cop a spot before they’re all gone.”

Donghyuck sighs. An evening with Jeno... Jeno _and_ Renjun. His gut churns in discomfort. 

As they approach the truck, Johnny turns to them with a wide smile and a sweeping wave. “Hyuckie! Nana! You made it!” he calls.

“Of course, hyung,” Donghyuck greets. “Glad to see you. Mark sends his regards.”

“Sends his regards,” Jaehyun snorts from behind him. “Did he move away or become a vampire?”

“Mark as a vampire would be sexy actually,” Jaemin muses. 

“You guys know Renjun, right?” Johnny continues. “And by now you must have met—”

“Jeno,” Donghyuck interrupts. Jeno gives him one of his tiny smiles, and Donghyuck gulps. “Hi.”

“Hi,” Jeno responds. 

Next to him, Renjun bristles. “Oh, I didn’t realize it was trash day,” he says, sending Donghyuck a sharp glare. 

Johnny’s brow furrows. “The trash gets picked up on Thursdays—oh.” He lets out a nervous chuckle. Meanwhile, Jaemin is absolutely losing his shit, clutching his chest in laughter. Renjun looks halfway between affronted and flattered.

“Well, uh, I’m gonna go help T gets the snacks ready,” Johnny says, sidestepping out of the conversation. Jaehyun follows with a shrug, leaving Renjun and Jeno alone with Jaemin and Donghyuck.

For a moment, the only sound between the four of them is Jaemin’s slowly dying laughter. “How do you know Johnny?” Donghyuck finally asks. “It hasn’t even been two weeks.”

Is he bitter that Jeno has already befriended the coolest guys in town, when it took Donghyuck himself years to build up such a relationship? Maybe. Is he going to voice that bitterness? Not if he can help it.

“Oh, I don’t know him really,” Jeno admits, scratching at the back of his head nervously. “We just met. Doyoung hyung invited me. He was the first friend I made here.”

Donghyuck wants to ask how that happened, seeing as Doyoung is four years older than them and hardly ever leaves the house, but he keeps his mouth shut. It’s none of his business who Jeno’s friends are. He doesn’t _care_.

Maybe if he keeps telling himself that, it’ll come true.

  
  


***

  
  


Somehow they end up pressed against each other in the bed of the truck, shoulder to shoulder, knee to knee. As Jaemin had predicted, there’s not a lot of space back there for all eight of them. Doyoung and Taeyong have long since abandoned the cramped space to fight over anime in the parking lot, while Johnny and Jaehyun are in the front seat making out. 

Thus, once again Donghyuck finds himself surrounded by Jaemin, Renjun, and Jeno. 

“Your friend, Jaemin,” Jeno starts. “He works at the convenience store. Right?”

Donghyuck looks over to the other end of the truck bed, where Jaemin is locked in conversation with Renjun. He can’t glean what they’re talking about, but it’s Jaemin. Nobody ever knows what Jaemin is talking about.

“Yeah,” he says. He takes a swig of his beer, for courage, because talking to Jeno one on one makes him feel all kinds of jittery. “He only started this summer. I wish he hadn’t; the bitch is always busy now. Between him and Mark being gone I’m starting to lose my mind.”

“Mark,” Jeno says, furrowing his brow in thought. The name sounds foreign and wrong in his voice, and Donghyuck feels something inside him ache. “The sexy vampire?”

... and in an instant the ache is gone, replaced by dubious laughter. “I mean, he’s not actually a vampire and he’s certainly not sexy, but yeah,” he laughs. “That’s him. Good ol’ Mark Lee.”

Donghyuck wonders if Jeno can hear the wistfulness in the way he says Mark’s name. If he can sense how much he misses him, how much he wishes Mark was here beside him instead. 

If he can, he doesn’t mention it. Donghyuck is grateful.

“Another Lee?” Jeno asks. “Are you sure he’s not sexy? I don’t know if I’ve ever met an unsexy Lee.” He scratches his chin, as if pretending to be in deep thought.

For a moment Donghyuck simply blinks. This is a much different side of Jeno than he’s ever seen before — though to be fair, it’s not like they know each other well. “Either you’re a really confident flirt or you’re really full of yourself,” he finally says, laughing in disbelief. “Or both.”

“What, you disagree?” Jeno grins and bumps their shoulders together, playful. “So you _weren’t_ checking me out through my bedroom window the other morning?”

His cheeks have never heated up so fast. Donghyuck’s eyes widen and he shoves at Jeno’s shoulder in embarrassment. Jeno laughs, and there it is again: that tightness in his chest. Oh, no. No, no, no.

“Maybe if you didn’t get changed with your curtains wide open!” Donghyuck hisses. He glances over at Jaemin and Renjun, suddenly afraid that he’s exposing himself, but they’re so engaged in their conversation that they’re hardly paying them any mind. “It’s like a car crash; you can’t help but look, okay?”

Jeno is nearly bent over in laughter now, cheeks rosy from the alcohol. He rests a hand on Donghyuck’s thigh to steady himself and Donghyuck tenses a bit at the touch. Jeno doesn’t seem to notice, but Donghyuck doesn’t have the heart to ask him to pull away.

“Sure,” Jeno teases. “Whatever you say, Hyuck.”

This time, when Donghyuck tenses, Jeno _does_ notice.

“Er, Donghyuck,” he corrects. His smile falls a bit, softening into something more apologetic. “Sorry. I know you asked me not to call you that.”

Something seizes up inside of him, grabbing a hold of Donghyuck’s lungs and squeezing. It’s hard to breathe, suddenly, and his heart must be beating at a mile a minute. But why is his body reacting this way? Why is the sorry expression on Jeno’s face so painful to look at?

Why does the embodiment of all his fears have to be so _kind_?

“Whatever,” he exhales. “It’s fine.”

Jeno sends him a small, sympathetic smile. “Alright,” he says. Soft, gentle. Like he can see right through him. “If you say so.”

  
  


***

  
  


Donghyuck can’t sleep. 

It’s nothing new — he often spends his summer nights up late playing games, bothering Jaemin at work or blowing up Mark’s phone. But tonight, none of those options sound particularly satisfying.

Tonight, there’s something restless bubbling up inside of him. 

He glances out the window and sees the now familiar sight of Jeno on the rooftop. Before he can change his mind, he pulls out his phone.

  
  


**donghyuck**

when ur feeling restless and like u don’t belong in ur own skin, what do u do?

  
  


He half expects to be ignored. Jeno is usually so engrossed in his… meditation, or whatever it is… that Donghyuck wouldn’t be surprised if his phone wasn’t even on. He prepares himself for yet another let down, but a few moments later, his phone lights up with a response.

  
  


**jeno**

stare at the stars  
make up stories

  
  


Donghyuck blinks.

  
  


**donghyuck**

stories?

  
  


**jeno**

yeah. like for each star, maybe there’s someone living up there  
i think about what they might be doing  
what kind of things they’re thinking about  
makes my own problems feel much smaller, u know?

  
  


**donghyuck**

stars don’t have life on them  
they’re just big balls of fire

  
  


**jeno**

isn’t fire a kind of life of its own?

  
  


**donghyuck**

i  
not really  
ur not making sense

  
  


**jeno**

lol ok true idk what i’m saying  
but u asked what i did so i told u  
take it or leave it

  
  


**donghyuck**

ur weird, jeno lee

  
  


**jeno**

is that a good thing?

  
  


_Is_ it a good thing? Donghyuck thinks of how Jeno has stolen so much from him without even trying. How everyone has already declared him their new favorite, making Donghyuck obsolete. How his perfect smile and perfect demeanor make his insides boil with rage and envy. How Donghyuck wishes and wishes that Jeno would just go away, that Mark had never left and things were as they used to be. Forever.

But then he thinks of Jeno’s laugh, and Jeno’s genuineness, and Jeno on the roof with his stuffed cat and his protein bars. And his heart stutters.

Jeno Lee is weird. He makes Donghyuck feel weird, too.

  
  


**donghyuck**

i haven’t decided yet.

  
  


***

  
  


“So I told him we should go on a double date. You should have seen the scandalized look on his face; it was so cute.”

Donghyuck nearly chokes on his drink. He’s perched on the convenience store counter again, slurping on a stolen slushee while Jaemin pretends to man the cash register. It’s late, and the store is empty, as usual.

Jaemin snorts. “Actually, yeah. That’s exactly what his face looked like!” he laughs. “Did you and Renjun plan that?”

“Jaemin, what the fuck.” Donghyuck coughs, batting at his chest. “Why would you even suggest that? Renjun hates me. I hate _Jeno._ This is the worst idea you’ve ever had.”

“Oh, please.” Jaemin rolls his eyes. “You don’t hate Jeno. You wanna kiss him so bad.”

Donghyuck splutters. “I do not!” he protests, but the tips of his ears are red and his voice is squeaky, and he knows it’s no use. Jaemin can see right through him. 

“Suuuure,” Jaemin snickers. He takes a long sip of his own slushee, staring Hyuck down with that same mischievous glint he’s learned to fear so much. “Come on, you can’t honestly tell me you haven’t thought about it. We all know you think he’s hot.”

“Yeah, because I have eyes, Jaem! You think he’s hot, too,” Donghyuck whines. “Anyway what the fuck do you mean double date? You asked Renjun out?”

“Yeah,” Jaemin says with a shrug and a grin. “He’s cute and funny. We’re going out this weekend.”

Jaemin has always been shameless, so Donghyuck isn’t surprised by this development. He is, however, betrayed.

“How could you do that?!” Donghyuck whines. “Renjun and Jeno aren't our friends! You’re fraternizing with the enemy!”

“Renjun is my friend,” Jaemin says. “Speak for yourself. I don’t know why you’re so convinced Jeno is the spawn of satan or some shit but I think he’s nice. When will you give it up, Hyuckie? Why are you so stuck on this narrative?”

It stings. Donghyuck knows that his (so-called) hatred of Jeno is misplaced. But he thought at least Jaemin would be on his side, would back him up when Renjun came at him with his claws out. But apparently not.

He gulps, trying to swallow down the hurt threatening to overtake him. “Fine. Enjoy your date,” he says. He hops off the counter and tosses his slushee into the trash.

“Hyuck,” Jaemin sighs. “Come on, don’t be like this. I’m trying to help you.”

“Well, I don’t want your help.”

“Too bad! Because you’re getting it.”

“Jaemin, please just leave me alone. Go talk to Renjun or something, since he’s your new best friend.”

Jaemin drops his arm from where he’d been reaching out to Donghyuck. There’s a flash of understanding in his eyes. His voice softens. “You know it’s not like that,” he says. “Is that what this is about? You feel replaced?”

Donghyuck says nothing. Jaemin comes out from behind the check out desk and pulls him into a hug.

“You’re so loved, Donghyuck. Please don’t forget that.”

He lets Jaemin hug him, rests his chin on his shoulder and sighs. “Renjun was mean to me,” he admits, feeling like a child. “He was just protecting Jeno but he said I was self-centered and an asshole and—I don’t know, maybe he’s right. Everyone would be better off without me here.”

Jaemin slaps his shoulder violently, and it’s such a jarring difference from the soft hug that it gives him whiplash.

“Shut up right now,” Jaemin says. He pulls away from their hug and places his hands firmly on Donghyuck’s shoulders, looking him straight in the eye. “Look, I know Renjun can be prickly. I didn’t know he said those things to you, though, so I’m sorry. I can talk to him about it… but listen to me, okay? Absolutely everyone you’ve ever met is better for having met you. You are the pride and joy of this town and my very best friend. No one is ever going to change that; not Renjun, and certainly not Jeno. You got that?”

It’s embarrassing, but Donghyuck can feel the beginnings of tears prickling in his eyes. He nods and steps in for another hug. “Thanks, Jaem,” he says. Jaemin wraps his arms around him again and squeezes him tight. “I know it’s stupid. I’ve just felt really off lately and Renjun hit a chord. I know I’ve been treating Jeno unfairly. He just brings up a lot of bad feelings for me.”

“I know, baby,” Jaemin soothes. “I can’t say I fully understand, but I’m here for you, okay? And for what it’s worth, Jeno seems to really like you.”

Donghyuck blushes. “Ugh, Renjun said that too. But why would he like me? I’ve been an asshole to him. And he’s _Jeno.”_

“Exactly, he’s Jeno,” Jaemin shrugs. “I think he’s just good like that. But of course he likes you! You're a catch. You’re literally so charming and gorgeous.”

 _Not as charming and gorgeous as him,_ he has to stop himself from saying. But the insistent thoughts keep coming: _Jeno Lee is way out of my league. Jeno Lee deserves someone better. Everyone does._

But he’s not in the mood for another Jaemin lecture, so instead he chuckles softly. “Yeah, true, I guess I am,” he says.

“Atta boy!” Jaemin grins and ruffles Donghyuck’s hair. “So… double date?”

Donghyuck blushes and shakes his head. “Ask me again at the end of the summer,” he laughs. 

Hopefully he can get his shit together by then.

  
  


***

  
  


June bleeds into July. The sun grows hotter and days stretch longer. Donghyuck and Jaemin spend their afternoons skating around, playing games, cooling off in the creek. Sometimes Jisung and Chenle will join them. Sometimes they’ll go out for ice cream with Heejin or Johnny or even Renjun, who seems to be trying his best not to fling insults at Donghyuck every two seconds. 

Donghyuck spends his nights on the rooftop with Jeno. It’s an unspoken thing between them now, and neither of them question it when Donghyuck clambors up the side of the house to join him. It’s not every night, but it’s often enough that they’ve established a sort of rhythm. Jeno does his usual: stares at the stars, stretches out on his blanket like a sunbathing cat. Donghyuck watches the stars, too, and when he thinks he’s not paying attention, he watches Jeno.

They never talk, except for when Jeno offers snacks and occasionally to say goodnight. Donghyuck has grown accustomed to the silence between them. It’s no longer awkward; instead a different sort of tension has settled between them, one that he refuses to acknowledge.

A few weeks pass and Donghyuck is met with a pleasant surprise: Mark is coming to visit. Donghyuck can hardly contain his excitement — he spends the days leading up to his arrival obsessively planning things for them to do, putting together an entire itinerary as if Mark hadn’t grown up in this town. Jaemin is equally as excited and joins in the planning wholeheartedly. He even takes a few nights off work, so they can all properly hang out without distractions.

It’s going to be the three of them together again, just as it should be. Donghyuck cannot wait.

He’s bouncing in his seat as they head to the airport to pick him up. Mark will be staying at Donghyuck’s house for three days — three whole days of his undivided attention. 

“We have to go to the diner, obviously,” he chirps from the passenger seat of Jaemin’s car. “I bet Mark misses the food there. And we should see if we can go river rafting with Chenle, even though Mark might be too chicken to go. Oh, should we have a movie night? There’s this new film on Netflix I’ve been wanting to watch—”

“Hyuck,” Jaemin laughs, cutting him off. “I’m excited too, but calm down. Mark isn’t a tourist; we don’t need to plan out all these fun things. We can just chill and catch up, you know?”

“Right,” Hyuck breathes. He’s practically vibrating in his seat, hands clasped together in excitement. “Of course, sorry. I’m just excited.”

An hour later and he’s engulfing Mark in a soul crushing hug. Mark laughs and ruffles his hair, throws an arm around Donghyuck and Jaemin’s shoulders and squeezes. 

“Good to see you guys,” he greets.

It’s an understatement, really. The three of them together again, like old times — it’s more than just good. For the first time all summer, Donghyuck feels whole.

  
  


***

  
  


On Mark’s second day, the inevitable happens.

“So you’re the famous Jeno. I’ve heard a lot about you,” he says.

Donghyuck should have been prepared for this moment. And yet, he had been so preoccupied with anticipating Mark’s visit that he’d hardly thought of Jeno at all. Those two days of peace had been a blessing, but now, they’re biting him in the ass.

“Oh?” Jeno’s eyes dart nervously between Mark and Donghyuck, clearly unsure if Mark’s statement is a good thing or not. Donghyuck feels his cheeks flush red under Jaemin’s stare — he hasn’t told him (or anyone) about their little rooftop dates, yet. Of course he rants to both of his best friends a fair amount, but Mark is privy to certain embarrassing information that Jaemin isn’t. He gulps.

“Yeah,” Mark says with a grin, “Mostly complaints about how unfairly cute you are. And whaddaya know, Hyuck was right. You are cute.”

“Haha, well.” Jeno turns _shy,_ scratching at the back of his head and biting at his bottom lip. Donghyuck sort of wants to die. “I’ve heard a lot about you too,” Jeno continues with a soft smile. “Though Donghyuck was wrong about you — he said you weren’t sexy. That was clearly a lie.”

It’s a joke, obviously. Jeno says it with a laugh and a flippant sort of tone, so it’s clear that he isn’t seriously hitting on Mark. It shouldn’t bother him.

It shouldn’t, but it does. Donghyuck feels something ugly and possessive swirling in his chest. He can’t quite place who the feeling is directed towards — Mark or Jeno, or maybe both — but it’s unpleasant.

He latches onto Mark’s side and sends Jeno a nasty glare. “Hey, back the fuck off,” he growls. “He has a boyfriend.”

Jeno blinks in surprise and lifts his hands defensively. Jaemin, uncharacteristically quiet, stares at Donghyuck with an unreadable expression. Mark lets out a nervous laugh.

“S-sorry, I wasn't trying to—” Jeno starts.

“Don’t worry about it, Jeno,” Mark says, shrugging out of Hyuck’s grip. “I didn’t think you were.” He gives Donghyuck a weird look, one that says _what the fuck are you doing?_ but Donghyuck ignores him and grabs at his arm again.

Somehow they end up at the diner. Mark invites Jeno along, much to Donghyuck’s dismay, which prompts Jaemin to text Renjun to come join them as well. The five of them sit at their corner table, Donghyuck squeezed between Mark and Jaemin. 

It’s an hour of pure torture.

Heejin, who seems to be working at any and all times of day, is as friendly as ever. She’s happy to see Mark, and makes small talk with him for a good five minutes before being pulled to take care of other customers. That’s the problem with the diner during the day — it’s actually busy. 

With Heejin gone, Mark starts talking to Jeno. This would be fine (or so Donghyuck tells himself) if Jaemin and Renjun didn’t only have eyes for each other. But as it stands, the two of them are off in their own little world, which leaves Donghyuck feeling like a fifth wheel.

And Mark and Jeno get along _spectacularly._ Donghyuck sits with a pout on his face as he listens to them rave about sports, about the broken closet door in Mark’s old room, about Mark’s upcoming pre-med program. Jeno wants to go to vet school, and they spend a solid ten minutes talking about the woes of science classes. Donghyuck tries to get a word in every so often, but he finds that he really has nothing to contribute to the conversation.

He has nothing to contribute, in general.

By the time they get their food, Donghyuck’s mood has been exceptionally soured. He hardly touches his waffles, instead clinging like a baby koala onto Mark’s arm, cheek pressed into his shoulder.

“Why are you being so clingy?” Mark complains, his nose scrunched up in annoyance.

Donghyuck scoffs. “Because I missed you, Mark.” The words are sincere, but they sound much harsher than the sentiment should. Passive aggressive, almost. Accusatory.

“I missed you too, Hyuckie,” Mark sighs, “But it’s kinda hard to eat like this, dude.” He tries to shrug out of Donghyuck’s grip again, desperate to take a bite of his food.

“Fine.” Donghyuck pouts and releases Mark, crossing his arms over his chest. He looks over at Jaemin and Renjun, who are sipping at their shared milkshake, and sneers. The jealous feeling in the pit of his stomach grows.

The night continues in much the same manner. The bitter taste of bile won’t leave Donghyuck’s throat. Mark and Jaemin barely talk to him. Renjun looks at him a grand total of two times, both instances to send him a judgmental look. Any and all happiness he’d felt waking up next to Mark this morning is now gone, swept away upon Jeno’s arrival.

“Dude, where have you been all my life?” he hears Mark say, and his heart drops into his stomach.

Jeno smiles one of his charming eye-smiles. The sight is sickening.

“I dunno, but it’s too bad we didn’t meet sooner. If only I hadn’t moved into your old house,” he says with a laugh.

“Right?” Mark’s eyes are sparkling, and he leans forward, hands pressed flat against the table. “Damn, imagine if you’d moved into Hyuck’s house or something instead. We coulda spent the whole summer becoming best friends.”

And there it is: the last straw.

Donghyuck feels like he’s just been stabbed. He stands up abruptly. A (thankfully empty) glass falls over from the sudden movement.

“I have to go to the bathroom,” he announces, scrambling over Jaemin’s legs and out of the booth. He doesn’t look back to see if anyone watches him go.

  
  


***

  
  


Donghyuck runs up the stairs and into his room. He slams the door behind him.

It feels like he’s being burned from the inside out. Something sharp and acidic is eating away at his internal organs, spreading fire throughout his body. It clutches at his heart, his breath — suffocating, stifling. Donghyuck can feel it coursing through him. Every thought of Jeno or Mark (or any of his friends, really) only stokes the flames, causing the ugly feeling to grow and expand. Donghyuck's hands are shaking and his muscles are tense and it's so, so overwhelming.

He thinks he's going to be sick.

He tries to drown the feeling in water, taking gratuitous gulps from his water bottle in an attempt to ground himself, but it only ends up making him feel more nauseous. Frustrated, he throws himself onto his bed and screams into his pillow. It's a weak excuse for a scream, one that's more of a sob than anything else. His throat feels scratchy and his eyes are stinging with tears.

Pathetic. It's no wonder that everyone prefers Jeno; even Donghyuck likes Jeno more than he likes himself. Jeno is charming, and kind, and cute, and thoughtful. Donghyuck is simply a burden, someone who demands attention and throws tantrums when he doesn't get it. He understands. He'd choose Jeno, too, if given the option.

But he thought that at least Mark would be a constant. Someone to fall back on, someone he could trust to always put him first. Mark is his _best friend;_ they literally grew up together. His betrayal stings in a way the others hadn't. It makes Donghyuck feel useless and unwanted, like he'll never be anyone's favorite. Like he's destined to be alone forever.

It's more than a simple sadness. It's desperation. He wishes people would love him the way they love Jeno. He wishes Jeno would just disappear.

For a moment he imagines hurting him: chasing him out of town with some nasty rumor, or stealing his friends the way Jeno has stolen his. The vindictiveness of the thought startles Donghyuck, and he cries himself to sleep with guilt.

Nobody comes to check up on him, and when he wakes up to the buzz of his phone, he doesn't bother updating his friends with his whereabouts, either.

It's not like anyone really cares, anyway.

  
  


***

  
  


When he emerges the next morning, he finds Mark fidgeting restlessly on the living room couch. He looks up as soon as he registers Donghyuck’s presence, and the look on his face almost makes Donghyuck feel bad for storming out on him last night. _Almost._

He ducks his head and sidles past Mark into the kitchen for some water.

“Hyuck, I’m sorry.” It takes all of ten seconds for Mark to follow him, spewing apologies. “I’m not entirely sure what I did but I know you’re upset, and I’m sorry. I slept on the couch because I didn’t want to disturb you but—are you okay? Whatever I did, I’m so, so sorry.”

Donghyuck turns to Mark with a sigh. He leans back against the kitchen counter, hands gripping the edge. “You didn’t do anything, Mark,” he answers. His voice is tired, raspy from the tears he’d shed the night before.

Mark hesitates before stepping closer. He runs a nervous hand through his hair. “Clearly I did,” he says. “Can you talk to me, please? ...is it about what I said to Jeno? Because that was just a joke, I swear.”

The way his body tenses must be obvious, because Mark softens almost immediately.

“Come on, let’s talk out whatever is bothering you,” he says, stepping forward to hold one of Donghyuck’s hands. “I’m leaving tomorrow, you know? Let’s not spend our last day together fighting.”

That’s all it takes for Donghyuck to relent. He sighs and squeezes Mark’s hand. Mark smiles, soft and understanding, and pulls him back to the couch. 

Donghyuck curls into his side almost instinctively. He rests his head against Mark’s shoulder, and Mark reaches up to brush his bangs out of his face.

“What’s wrong, Hyuckie?” he asks.

It feels like ages before he has the strength to respond. “I don’t know,” he breathes. And he doesn't — how can he possibly explain the ugliness that’s threatening to consume him? It’s impossible to rationalize, because it _isn’t_ rational. He’s worried that speaking his feelings out loud will make him sound like a bad person. Because that’s the thing, isn’t it? That’s the whole issue.

He’s a bad person, and Jeno is good. Too good.

“Is it Jeno?” Mark asks again. “Did I embarrass you in front of him or something? I’m sorry, I know you care a lot about what he thinks of you—”

“No, no,” Donghyuck stops him there, feeling his cheeks flush at the statement. As much as he pretends not to care, he obviously does. The fact that Mark has picked up on that is embarrassing. He hesitates. “What’s it like?”

Mark shifts slightly so that he can look Donghyuck in the eye. His brow quirks in confusion. “What’s what like?” he asks.

“Being away from home, from us. And from Xuxi. How do you do it?”

Mark looks contemplative for a moment. “It’s hard,” he says. “Of course it is. I miss everyone a lot, but I make sure to keep in touch every day through the phone or texting or whatever. And you learn to find other things to fill your life with. New people that make you happy, new ways to spend your time. I’m never alone, you know? Even if you guys aren’t there, I have other friends, and my family, too.”

Donghyuck frowns, shifting closer. “But how do you hold them all?” he asks. “If you make all these new friends, won’t you forget about us?”

“Never,” Mark says, shaking his head. “Even if I make new friends, nobody can ever replace you and Jaemin.”

Donghyuck sounds small when he answers. “Are you sure?”

“Yes, Hyuckie.” Mark leans down to kiss the top of Donghyuck’s head. “Every friend I make — even if we aren’t close or only know each other for a short while — they all fulfill their own special role in my life. Even if one day we aren’t friends anymore, which will never happen, but if it _did…_ still, nobody could fill the same shoes you do. Because you’re Donghyuck, and nobody else is.”

Somehow, it’s exactly what Donghyuck needs to hear. He squeezes his eyes shut and clings to Mark, trying desperately not to cry again.

“I’m scared, Mark,” he says.

Mark runs a hand through his hair, gentle and comforting. “Of what?”

Donghyuck thinks for a moment. What a question. It takes him a while to land on the answer: “...of growing up. Moving on. Everything’s changing, and it’s scary.”

Mark hums. Donghyuck can feel the gentle vibration of his chest against the side of his cheek. It’s oddly comforting, keeps him grounded in the moment. 

“I think everyone is scared, to some extent,” Mark says. “But change isn’t always bad, you know? How are you ever gonna experience new things if you stay here forever? There’s so much out there to see.”

 _The world is bigger than this._ Donghyuck instantly remembers Jeno’s words from that first night on the roof — back when he thought he was spewing philosophical words for no good reason. But now, he thinks he understands. Maybe Jeno had the right of it all along.

“Thanks, Mark,” Donghyuck whispers, snuggling closer. 

Mark places another tiny kiss to the top of his head. “No problem, Hyuckie,” he says, holding him tight. “Everything is gonna be okay.”

  
  


***

  
  


Donghyuck cries when they drop Mark off at the airport. Despite feeling overall more secure in the fact that his friends won’t just up and leave him, he still doesn’t want him to go. The visit felt much too short, especially when he spent nearly half of it moping, and school will be starting up again all too soon. Mark leaves them with a big bear hug and the promise to come back before too long. Donghyuck returns home with swollen eyes, and a heavy heart.

It’s late when he gets home. He takes a quick shower to try and get rid of the post-cry exhaustion that’s settled over him, then puts on his favorite sweats. He tells his parents he’s going over to Jaemin’s; they don’t question it. Instead he goes for a walk.

As he’s grabbing his skateboard from the side of the house, Jeno peeks his head out his bedroom window.

“Hey,” he calls out, startling Donghyuck. “Rooftop?”

Donghyuck looks up at Jeno’s smiling face and considers saying yes. He’s sure it’d do him some good, but right now he feels like something different.

“I was gonna go to the skate park, actually,” he says. Then, before he can stop himself: “Wanna come with?”

Jeno examines him for a moment, and Donghyuck feels himself shrinking under his gaze. Can he tell? Does he know he spent the last day and a half crying? Donghyuck isn’t sure how obvious it is, but he knows his eyes must be swollen to all hell. If Jeno notices, though, he doesn’t say anything. Instead he simply nods and throws his window the rest of the way open.

“What are you— _are you crazy?!_ ” Donghyuck gawks as Jeno jumps out the window, landing on the grass below with a _thump._

He grins. “Thought we’d already established that,” he says, rolling out his ankles. Donghyuck thinks Jeno must have incredible core strength to not have completely shattered his legs from that jump. _Wrestlers,_ he scoffs. _Unbelievable._

Donghyuck rolls his eyes, then turns to start walking towards the skate park. Jeno follows like an obedient puppy, hands clasped behind his back.

They travel in silence. Donghyuck holds his skateboard to his chest like a comfort blanket. He was originally going to skate around the neighborhood to calm down, but with Jeno here, it makes more sense to walk.

“Can you teach me?” Jeno asks suddenly.

Donghyuck turns to blink at him. “Huh?”

“To skateboard,” Jeno laughs. He sounds almost bashful, and Donghyuck is thankful to the cover of the dark for hiding his blush. “I’ve never ridden one before.”

“Really?” Donghyuck feels pleased, for some reason. Finally, something he can do that Jeno can’t. He tries to picture Jeno wobbling on a board, clutching his hands for support, and giggles. “Yeah, sure. Not tonight, though. I didn’t bring a helmet or anything and it’s dark.”

“Fair,” Jeno says. “I’ll look forward to it, then.”

A few more minutes of comfortable silence and they arrive at the skatepark. Donghyuck sits down on the ground, dangling his legs into the bowl. Jeno hesitates slightly before joining him. 

“Thanks for inviting me into your turf,” he says as he sits.

Donghyuck stiffens slightly. He’d really been an asshole the last time they were both here, hadn't he? He wonders if Jeno still feels bad about that. Donghyuck certainly does.

“Well, you let me into yours,” he says with a shrug. “It’s only fair.”

“I suppose that’s true.”

Jeno’s gaze naturally drifts towards the stars. _Always looking up,_ Donghyuck notes. He leans back on the palms of his hands and swings his feet. 

“Do you ever worry about what’s gonna happen after high school?” he asks suddenly. The instant the question leaves his mouth, he holds his breath, waiting for an answer.

Luckily he doesn’t have to wait long. 

“Hm, yeah,” Jeno muses. “Course I do. But we still have a whole year before that time comes, right? It's better to make the best of the time we have left.”

Donghyuck’s heard it millions of times, but it somehow feels different coming from Jeno.

“Jaemin plans to move away for college,” he elaborates. “Mark’s already gone, and a lot of our other classmates will be soon, too. Sometimes I think I want to stay but it won’t be the same without everyone here. But it won’t be the same if I go somewhere else, either. I guess I just… wish there was a way to stop time.”

Jeno hums in understanding. His feet knock against Donghyuck’s — whether it’s an accident or on purpose, he doesn’t know. 

“I get that,” he says. “When I found out we were moving I was really upset. I won’t be graduating with my friends, you know? That’s a bummer, but any time I get sad I can just text them or FaceTime or plan a visit. They’re still my friends, just a little bit further away.”

In all honesty, Donghyuck had completely forgotten that by nature of Jeno being new here, it meant he had left something behind. The realization hits him like a shot to the heart — of course, Jeno has people he misses, too.

“Aren’t you ever afraid you’ll drift apart?” he asks.

Jeno’s brow furrows. “Not really? I mean, with some people, sure. But the important ones, no. We care about each other enough that a little distance won’t keep us apart.”

Donghyuck sighs, wishing desperately that it was as easy for him to believe that as it seems to be for Jeno. He closes his eyes, inhales deeply.

“I hope you’re right,” he breathes.

Jeno seems to sense the tension — in the air, in Donghyuck’s rigid stance, in the way his voice wavers. He sends Donghyuck a soft, sympathetic smile.

“But you and Mark have made long distance work so far, right? I’m sure everything will be okay.”

Donghyuck is about to thank him when he fully processes the words. “Wait, what do you mean? Me and Mark what?”

Jeno blinks. “I mean. You and Mark… aren’t you dating?”

The mood instantly shifts as the world crashes down around him. 

“Oh my god, _no,”_ Donghyuck protests, his cheeks flushing red. “He has a boyfriend. I literally told you that.”

“Yeah… I thought it was you.”

“I—” Donghyuck thinks back to how clingy and possessive he’d been in the diner and grimaces. “Okay, I can see how you thought that. But no, Mark’s like a brother to me. The thought of kissing him is like—ew.” His nose scrunches up at the thought, and he quickly shakes his head to erase the mental image.

“Oh,” Jeno says, and if Donghyuck isn’t imagining things, he sounds relieved. “Well, that’s good.”

Okay, definitely relieved, then. “It is…?”

Jeno shrugs, gaze fixed on his hands in his lap. “Well, I don’t know if it’s good for you. But it’s definitely good for me.”

Donghyuck stares at Jeno for a moment, taking in the pink tint of his cheeks and the way his teeth worry at his bottom lip. Jeno’s face is perfectly lit by the moon overhead, which gives him an ethereal sort of glow. He’s absolutely gorgeous — an angel. 

Donghyuck’s breath catches. The mood shifts, again.

“Renjun said you like me,” he starts, slowly. “I didn’t think he meant… like that.”

The accompanying question remains unasked, but Jeno seems determined to answer it anyway. He turns towards Donghyuck with a shy smile.

“Yeah, well,” he laughs, nervous. “He probably doesn’t know? I think he’d kill me if he realized how much I actually like you. But yeah. It is… like that.”

“Oh.”

Jeno stares, and Donghyuck stares back. There’s so much to process in this moment — mainly the fact that _Jeno Lee likes him_ — and his mind has nearly gone blank. Not blank enough, however, to miss the way Jeno’s gaze flickers to his lips. He swallows.

“You can kiss me,” Donghyuck says, voice so quiet that he’s not entirely sure he’s actually said it out loud. He doesn’t even remember thinking it; the words simply tumble out of his mouth, desperate to be heard.

Jeno leans forward and brushes their lips together. It’s soft at first, hesitant — but when Donghyuck reaches up to pull him closer by the neck, he kisses with more conviction. Jeno’s hands find their way to Donghyuck’s waist, thumbs pressing into his hip bones. Donghyuck lets out a contented sigh.

It’s been a long time since he kissed anyone. Jeno’s touch feels like fire against his skin and his mouth tastes like gatorade and summertime. Donghyuck presses closer, lets Jeno lick into his mouth (lets him do whatever he wants). Jeno is gentle but insistent at the same time, and it leaves Donghyuck’s head spinning. Of course Jeno Lee is a good kisser. Is there anything he _isn’t_ good at?

They pull apart for air, and Jeno brushes their noses together. He places a few soft kisses to the corner of Donghyuck’s mouth that leave his heart stuttering in his chest. Nobody’s ever kissed him like this before — delicately, lavishly, like he’s made of gold.

“Again,” Donghyuck croaks, nudging Jeno’s nose softly with his own. Jeno doesn’t need to be told twice.

  
  


***

  
  


Donghyuck copes with the shift in status between him and Jeno by completely ignoring it. At first Jeno seems confused as to why nothing between them has changed, but he catches on quickly. Donghyuck is grateful for Jeno’s patience and kindness, even if it does make him feel guilty.

He finds himself in Jaemin’s store the night after the kiss. He hasn’t told anyone yet, not even Mark, and he’s not sure he wants to. Thinking about it for too long makes his brain hurt; how is he supposed to talk about it out loud?

So he doesn’t. Instead he and Jaemin gossip about the usual things: Jisung’s crush on Chenle, what classes they’ll be taking next year, the latest episodes of their favorite shows. Donghyuck browses through the aisles, picking up various snacks and stuffing them into his hoodie pocket.

“How much do you think your boss will kill you if you let me have these for free?” he says, dumping his haul onto the counter. Jaemin snorts and starts ringing them up, one by one.

“Nice try,” he says. “I draw the line at free slushies. We _do_ have CCTV in here, you know.”

“Dammit,” Donghyuck whines. He leans on his elbows, watching Jaemin scan the barcodes. An old song plays on the radio overhead, and he finds himself humming along absentmindedly. 

“What do you need protein bars for?” Jaemin asks, an eyebrow lifted. Donghyuck eyes the stack of bars resting at the top of the pile of snacks and blushes.

“They’re good,” he says with a shrug. He doesn’t know how to tell his best friend that he grabbed them for Jeno, who had spent a whole ten minutes pouting the last time they were on the roof because he apparently ran out. 

“Okay then…” Jaemin gives him a look that says he’s not buying it, but for once he doesn’t question him. “Hey, Renjun and I are gonna go to this art museum in the city tomorrow, if you want to come. Jeno’s invited too.” 

Donghyuck sighs. “Didn’t I say to ask me about a double date later in the summer?” he says. “I don’t think I should go. Renjun still doesn’t like me.”

He leaves out anything about Jeno’s feelings on the matter, because after his confession (that’s what it was, right?) he’s pretty sure he knows where he lies.

“Renjun will get over it,” Jaemin whines. “In fact, I think he already feels bad for what he said to you before. I’ll badger him to apologize properly; I think you guys would actually really get along. And I know you want to get closer to Jeno. Come on, please?”

“I’m sorry, Jaem, I don’t really feel like it right now,” Donghyuck holds his ground. The thought of spending a whole day with Jeno after what happened makes his skin crawl. “Maybe another time?”

Jaemin lets out a dramatic sigh. “Fine, stay single for all I care.”

Donghyuck tries not to let his face betray how much that stings.

  
  


***

  
  


(He does get a text from Renjun, later, apologizing for their harsh start. Donghyuck apologizes too, and the two make a truce. Hyuck isn’t sure how much Renjun knows about his nights with Jeno but he decides not to bring it up. That’s a beast he’ll have to tackle another day.)

  
  


***

  
  


**duckie**

mark :(((((

  
  


**abandon-er**

what’s up duckie?   
everything okay?

  
  


**duckie**

no

  
  


**abandon-er**

what happened ???  
are u safe?!?!  
where are u

  
  


**duckie**

it’s nothing like that, mark  
i’m just… going thru it

  
  


**abandon-er**

oh phew  
hyuck :((( going thru what?

  
  


**duckie**

It

  
  


**abandon-er**

…

  
  


**duckie**

i don’t knowwwww

  
  


**abandon-er**

jeno….?

  
  


**duckie**

:(((((  
yeah :(

  
  


**abandon-er**

what’s wrong?

  
  


**duckie**

i guess i’m just confused   
he makes me feel so weird, mark

  
  


**abandon-er**

weird how?

  
  


**duckie**

like i can’t stop comparing myself to him  
i get so jealous but not even bc other people like him  
but bc other ppl like him more than they like me  
it makes me so angry at him, but he’s literally an angel  
even tho i’ve been a brat to him he is still so kind  
so sweet and cute and genuine   
i just don’t get it. i feel so guilty and childish  
but also,,, it’s not fair  
he has everything that i want  
he IS everything that i want  
idk it’s a lot

  
  


**abandon-er**

that… certainly is a lot

  
  


**duckie**

i know   
i just don’t know what to do

  
  


**abandon-er**

i mean… have u talked to him about it?  
does he know how you feel?

  
  


**duckie**

no  
mark, i don’t even know how i feel

  
  


**abandon-er**

ok valid   
let me see if i can help  
seems like u admire him a lot?  
he handles things in a way u wish u could  
and that’s frustrating?

  
  


**duckie**

yeah, i guess

  
  


**abandon-er**

u took out ur anger on him  
but rly ur angry at urself  
and now u feel conflicted bc u actually rly like jeno as a person  
does that sound right?

  
  


**duckie**

...ok mister therapist damn  
but uh yeah pretty much 

  
  


**abandon-er**

then i think u need to work on figuring out where that frustration and anger comes from  
and find ways to either fix it or cope with it better  
and maybe tell jeno u like him, idk  
that part can come later

  
  


**duckie**

markles,,, how are u so wise

  
  


**abandon-er**

i just know u, hyuck  
but i’m here to support u ok?

  
  


**duckie**

thank you mark TT  
i love you

  
  


**abandon-er**

love u too  
sooooo u like jeno? ;)

  
  


**duckie**

shut up omg  
i didn’t even say it like that

  
  


**abandon-er**

but we both know it’s true  
i saw the way u looked at him

  
  


**duckie**

ok fine  
maybe i do a little

  
  


**abandon-er**

!!!!!!!

  
  


**duckie**

:((((

  
  


***

  
  


After several days of avoiding Jeno’s rooftop (and, okay, Jeno in general), Donghyuck decides he misses it (and, okay, him).

Jeno’s bedroom light is on, but his curtains are drawn. Donghyuck makes his way out to the side of the house and picks up a pebble. He’s always seen people doing this sort of thing in romance movies — surely there must be some sort of merit to it? Shrugging, he tosses the stone up at the window. It hits the glass with a _clink_ before falling back to the ground.

No answer. Huffing, Donghyuck tries again, and again. By now his frustration has peaked and his patience is waning. He discards the pebbles idea (even though he thought it’d be cute, it’s not worth accidentally breaking a window) and pulls out his phone.

Jeno answers on the first ring. “Donghyuck?”

“Hey,” he breathes, cheeks already flushing red from the sound of Jeno’s voice. “Want to go for a walk?”

A few seconds of silence pass before there’s movement from up above. Jeno pulls back his curtains and peeks his head out. Donghyuck smiles up at him, and Jeno nods.

Less than a minute later and Jeno is next to him, wrapped up in a sweatshirt and dusting the dirt off his pants.

Donghyuck looks at him with a mixture of exasperation and fondness. “Crazy,” he says, shaking his head. (He’d jumped down from the window again, of course.)

Jeno simply grins. “Crazy for you.”

He doesn’t have a destination in mind this time. Instead of settling in one particular place, they roam the neighborhood streets hand in hand. They don’t talk about the kiss, but they do talk about nearly everything else. 

Jeno tells him about his best friends back in the city — Eric, a smiley boy often mistaken as his twin brother; Felix, a boy from Australia with “the cutest freckles you’ll ever see”; Eunbin, a ridiculously smart and beautiful girl who’s older sister had been Jeno’s first crush. He even tells Donghyuck about his first girlfriend, Sookyung, whom he’d dated for two months freshman year before they both realized they were gay.

Donghyuck is surprised by how open Jeno is being, but even more so, he’s surprised by how easy it is to reciprocate. He tells Jeno tales of him and Mark and Jaemin growing up, of his childhood crush on Johnny and his somewhat messy breakup with Hyunjin. 

“Hwang Hyunjin,” he clarifies, “Not to be mistaken with Kim Hyunjin, Heejin’s girlfriend. I’ve never dated a girl.”

“Heejin…” Jeno’s eyebrows scrunch up in thought, and Donghyuck has to resist the urge to reach out and boop him on the nose. 

“Diner girl,” he says with a laugh. “She’s kind of peripherally part of our squad, I guess? We hang out with them sometimes, her and Hyunjin and Chaewon. I’m sure you’ll meet them eventually.”

“Got it.”

The conversation flows easily, and before he knows it they’re back in front of their houses. Donghyuck isn’t sure what time it is, but he _is_ sure of one thing.

“...I don’t want to go home yet,” he says. He glances up at his bedroom window with a frown.

Jeno squeezes his hand. “Then… rooftop?”

Up on the roof, Jeno leans over and kisses him. Donghyuck cards one hand through Jeno’s hair, while the other grips at the rooftop tiles to hold him steady.

It keeps him from falling off the roof, but it does nothing to keep him from falling for Jeno.

  
  


***

  
  


“You seem rather pensive today,” Jaemin says, brow lifted. “You’ve been staring into space since we got here.”

“Yeah, you didn’t even laugh when Jisung beefed it a few minutes ago,” Chenle points out. Jisung throws him a middle finger as he skates past.

“Nnnn,” Donghyuck grunts in affirmation. He lays flat on the concrete, staring at the clouds as they float by. He hasn’t moved in the last thirty minutes.

“What’s up?” Jaemin asks, plopping down next to him. “Did something happen?”

 _Did_ something happen? Well, yes, he supposes — but it’s more than that. Several somethings happened which led him to this moment, to these feelings, and now he is grappling with a very overwhelming realization.

“I like Jeno,” he says. The words leave his mouth like a whisper, a sigh. It takes Jaemin a moment to understand what he’s heard, but when he does, he nearly screams.

“I knew it!” Jaemin shouts, jostling Donghyuck’s shoulders in excitement. Chenle and Jisung immediately abandon their skating to crowd around them in curiosity. “What made you realize? Are you gonna ask him out? Spill!”

Donghyuck groans. He rolls over so that his cheek is pressed into the ground. It’s uncomfortable, but so is facing Jaemin. He doesn’t want to look him in the eye while he says this next part.

“Well,” he starts, already feeling the back of his neck heat up in embarrassment. “We might have kissed. A few times.”

_“WHAT?!”_

“No way. When?”

“Ew...”

Donghyuck grimaces — he knew they would react this way. “Once the night Mark left, and then yesterday on the roof—”

“The roof? Excuse me?”

“We hang out on his roof sometimes.”

Jaemin stares at him in disbelief. Donghyuck can feel his gaze burning into his back, even though he isn’t facing him. “You what?”

He shrinks, curling in on himself. “We go up there some nights and just, like, lay down and look at the stars. It’s nice. Yesterday we went for a walk and then afterwards on the roof, he kissed me. I think we made out for like an hour.”

“Oh my god.”

“Yeah.”

A rare silence hangs over them as everyone digests this new information. Donghyuck thinks about what he’s just revealed and his heart rate picks up in his chest — saying it out loud makes it so much more real than it ever was before. It’s overwhelming, suddenly, how much he likes Jeno. How much he enjoys kissing Jeno, and how much he would like to do it again, if only...

“Dude, are you crying?”

Chenle’s words startle him out of his thoughts, and he wipes his eyes to find that he is indeed tearing up. Embarrassed, Donghyuck sits up and tries to play it cool.

“Sun is bright in my eyes,” he mumbles. Nobody looks convinced.

“Hyuckie.” Jaemin looks at him, reaches out and lifts his chin. “What’s wrong?”

And just like it had been with Mark, that’s all it takes for Donghyuck’s walls to come crumbling down. His eyes prickle with tears and he shakes his head, fists balled in his lap.

“Jeno is too good,” he cries.

Jisung’s brow furrows in confusion. “Too good at kissing?” he asks. Chenle nudges him harshly in the side and he lets out a tiny yelp of pain.

“Too good at everything,” Donghyuck continues. He laughs, but the sound is empty and forced. “Too kind, too understanding, too wise, too genuine. He’s just so... so good, you guys. And I’m... well, I’m an asshole and a needy baby and I’m selfish.”

Jaemin instantly scoots closer and wraps his arms around Donghyuck. “Oh, baby,” he says. And Donghyuck does feel like a baby: crying all the time and needing constant attention. It’s pathetic. 

“He’s too good for me. I don’t even understand why he likes me,” he says, shoulders shaking as he cries. 

“Don’t say that,” Jaemin soothes, rubbing circles into his back. “You’re so worthy, Hyuck. The fact that you care so much in the first place shows incredible strength.”

“Yeah.” Chenle places a comforting hand on his shoulder. “If you feel bad for how you treated him, apologize and do better. You’re trying, Hyuck. Don’t be too hard on yourself.”

Donghyuck sniffles. 

“Hyuck hyung...” Jisung piques up, shy. “I’ve known you since I was really little, and I’ve always looked up to you. You always make us laugh when we’re down and you protect us. You’re a good person; I know you are. I think Jeno sees that, too. He’s lucky to have you. We all are.”

He looks up at his friends, eyes watery, and smiles. “Thank you, guys,” he says. “I’m sorry I’ve been so off all summer.”

“It’s okay,” Jaemin assures him. “We’re here for you. Always will be. Now cheer up and tell us more about Jeno! I need details.”

Donghyuck lets out a shaky laugh, a real one this time. His friends always know how to make him feel better. He wipes his eyes dry and pushes Jaemin off of him, standing to grab his skateboard.

“Well, for starters, he’s a fucking amazing kisser,” he gushes. “I definitely want his mouth in other places, if you know what I mean.”

Jisung lets out a disgusted squeak, and Chenle laughs, and Donghyuck feels the weight on his heart lift ever so slightly. 

This summer isn’t going exactly how he’d hoped, but he’s confident he can make it through. Donghyuck steps onto his skateboard and locks eyes with Jaemin, who gives him a bright smile. He makes himself a promise not to take the wonderful people in his life — the people who love him — for granted any longer.

It’s like Jaemin said: his friends are here for him. They always will be.

  
  


***

  
  


A new sense of resolve has made him stronger.

The next time he catches Jeno’s eyes through the window, his heart flutters with hope. The guilt and conflicting feelings are still there, but they’re so much dimmer now, drowned out by his desire to stop sitting around feeling sorry for himself. Jeno smiles at him, soft and shy, and Donghyuck smiles back.

He’s gonna make this work.

  
  


***

  
  


**donghyuck**

hey

  
  


**jeno**

hi! n__n

  
  


**donghyuck**

hi

  
  


**jeno**

what’s up?

  
  


**donghyuck**

uhh are u busy tomorrow?

  
  


**jeno**

mm not really why?

  
  


**donghyuck**

oh, well,,  
i was wondering if u wanted to hang out?  
like during the day

  
  


**jeno**

really? :o

  
  


**donghyuck**

yes??? why would i ask if i didn’t mean it

  
  


**jeno**

ahh <3.<3  
are u sure ur ok with being seen with me?  
i thought u hated that

  
  


**donghyuck**

oh…  
jeno :( i’m sorry, i don’t hate u  
i don’t hate being seen with u  
i know it may have seemed that way at first  
i guess i should explain  
we can talk tomorrow…?  
i’d rather have this convo in person

  
  


**jeno**

sure donghyuck :3  
i’d love to hang out with u.

  
  


**donghyuck**

cool  
also… hyuck

  
  


**jeno**

huh??

  
  


**donghyuck**

call me hyuck.

  
  


**jeno**

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3  
okay hyuck!!! n__n  
meet outside tomorrow?

  
  


**donghyuck**

sure. noon?

  
  


**jeno**

noon works!  
it’s a date n__n <3

  
  


**donghyuck**

it’s a date.

  
  


***

  
  


Donghyuck is shaking with nerves as he walks out to meet Jeno for their date. The summer sun beats down on his skin, its sticky warmth a strange juxtaposition to the goosebumps littering his arms. He rolls back his shoulders, takes a deep breath.

Jeno waits on the front lawn. He looks nervous, too, hands stuffed into the pockets of his ripped jeans. He smiles at Donghyuck as he approaches. Donghyuck’s heart does a funny little flip in his chest.

“Hey,” he greets.

“Hi.”

The air between them feels different. Donghyuck knows it’s because of their text conversation yesterday: the promise of an apology and the openness with which they called this a date. He’d woken up in the morning with hope and anticipation bubbling in his chest, threatening to burst. Noon couldn’t have come fast enough.

Donghyuck wonders if Jeno feels it, too. The shy smile on his face suggests that he does.

Jeno takes his hand and asks where they’re going. They decide to go on a tour of the entire town, because Donghyuck insists that Jeno hasn’t seen the best of it yet. (He’s already been almost everywhere he takes him, but he doesn’t tell him that. Donghyuck’s enthusiasm is endearing, and he doesn’t have the heart to crush it.)

They hit all of Donghyuck’s favorite spots. The ice cream parlor he worked at for two summers, the old soccer field they used to call “420 field” because of how often people went there to smoke, the antique shop downtown run by a lady so old Donghyuck swears she must be immortal.

“She’s been that old since I was a kid,” he whispers between shelves of old French novels and painted teapots. “I think she’s a vampire.”

Jeno laughs, and buys a set of kitschy glass figurines that look nearly as old as the shopkeeper. 

“This is exactly the kind of shit my mom likes,” he says. “I’ll have to bring her here some time.”

After that they head to the creek. The sun hangs lower in the sky now, still warm but considerably less harsh on their skin. The creek runs through the woods near Jaemin and Jisung’s house. Besides the skate park, it’s probably Donghyuck’s favorite place in town.

“We used to come here all the time as kids,” Donghyuck sighs, slipping out of his shoes to dip his toes in the water. “Me, Mark and Jaemin. Sometimes Jisung, though he was afraid of the fish.”

“Fish?” Jeno peeks into the water with wide eyes. He follows Donghyuck’s lead and takes off his shoes, though he seems more hesitant to enter. Donghyuck smiles at the sight.

“There’s none anymore,” he explains. “Too many humans messing around back here. And too much pollution. It’s a shame, really; we used to catch frogs and try to scare the neighborhood girls with them.”

Jeno laughs, bright and warm. Donghyuck wants to kiss him. But he won’t — not yet.

“Does this feed into a river?” Jeno asks. He’s carefully balancing on two stones in the middle of the creek, pant legs rolled up and arms outstretched.

“Yeah. They don’t let people swim in the river anymore, though. It’s too dirty and there’s no lifeguard. Once a kid drowned, so they keep it closed off now.”

“Oh, shit.”

“Yeah.” Donghyuck hadn’t known the kid, but the story was enough to scare him from even visiting the riverside for years. “The creek is too shallow to swim in, but it’s still nice to splash around in when it’s hot.”

He punctuates this thought by reaching down to splash some water up at Jeno. It’s a perfect shot. Jeno shrieks and recoils, losing his balance. He falls right into the water — flat on his ass.

Donghyuck bursts out laughing. “Oh shit, are you okay?” he giggles, moving towards Jeno to make sure his tailbone hasn’t shattered. 

Jeno pouts up at him. “Oh, you’re in for it now!” he says, shifting to retaliate. Donghyuck squeals, dodging the water as best he can. 

Five minutes later and they’re both soaked and breathless. They lay next to each other on the ground, staring up at the canopy of trees above them. Donghyuck knows his clothes are getting _so_ dirty and his back is going to kill him tomorrow, but in this moment, he doesn’t care. He feels free, untroubled. Like he’s a kid again.

The perfect nostalgia of the moment is almost too much to bear. Donghyuck turns his head towards Jeno and finds him already looking back at him. He gulps; they’re so close that it’d be easy to lean over and kiss him, if he wanted to.

Jeno seems to have the same idea. Donghyuck’s eyes flutter closed as Jeno moves closer, a hand reaching up to caress his cheek. He grips onto the front of Jeno’s shirt, ignoring the uncomfortable dampness of their clothes, and waits.

They kiss slower than before. There’s something more tentative in the way Jeno moves against him, now, similar to their very first kiss but with more weight behind it. Donghyuck revels in the languid pace, sighs into Jeno’s mouth and swings a leg over his hip. 

He doesn’t know how long they lay there kissing. It doesn’t feel like long enough, but when they pull apart, the sun is beginning to paint the sky pink. Donghyuck breathes and stares at Jeno. Jeno breathes and stares back.

“Jeno,” Donghyuck croaks. His voice is hoarse, barely a whisper. “I owe you an apology.”

Maybe this isn’t the right time to bring it up, but his heart won’t allow him to kiss Jeno again until he explains himself. And he really wants to kiss Jeno again.

“Alright,” Jeno whispers. He runs a thumb along Donghyuck’s jaw, making him shiver. “I’m listening.”

Donghyuck clears his throat and sits up. As much as he loves being close to Jeno, he doesn’t think he can say what he needs to say when his lips are _right there._ Plus, the dirt and rocks they’ve been lying on aren’t exactly the most comfortable things in the world.

“When you first moved here — actually, before you even moved here — I had built up this image of you in my mind,” he starts, picking at the end of his wet shorts nervously. “And I didn’t like it. I hated it. I hated that you were replacing Mark; that was the first thing. It didn’t matter who you were. You were a reminder that my best friend left me, and that sucked.

“Then I met you. And you seemed so perfect; it pissed me off. You were so friendly and kind and fuck, you were so hot. Not to mention you were already loved by everyone in the neighborhood, _my_ neighborhood, and I felt territorial, I guess. I’ve been so scared of moving on and being forgotten and I took it out on you. But that wasn’t your fault, and you didn’t deserve it. I’m sorry.”

Jeno sits up and reaches for Donghyuck’s hand. He laces their fingers together and gives Donghyuck a soft smile, one he feels he doesn’t deserve.

“Thank you for apologizing,” he says.

Donghyuck shakes his head. “I was an asshole,” he says. “I was so jealous of you. I still am, a little bit. But I’m trying to remind myself that the perfect Jeno I built up in my head isn’t the real Jeno. It’s unfair for me to have you on a pedestal like that. I was mad at you for things you didn’t even do.”

“I’m definitely not perfect,” Jeno laughs lightly. “And I understand missing your friends and being scared of being forgotten. Sometimes I see photos of my friends all hanging out together on instagram or whatever, and it makes me so sad. I wish I could be there with them. It’s normal to feel those things, Hyuck. Don’t beat yourself up over it.”

Donghyuck’s heart flutters at the sound of the nickname. He offers Jeno a soft smile and squeezes his hand. “I know. It took really talking to you to realize you’re a real person with feelings, too. It seems silly but before that you were just this obstacle in my mind. Something I needed to defeat.”

“Well,” Jeno says, “Whatever it is that you actually need to defeat, I’ll be right here with you for support.”

Donghyuck almost wants to cry, but he’s shed too many tears over this already, so he steels himself with a deep breath. “Thank you, Jeno,” he says. There’s a moment of silence as they sit, hand in hand, digesting the apology. Then, Donghyuck speaks up again. “Can I ask you something silly and maybe a little selfish?”

Jeno doesn’t miss a beat. “Yeah, go ahead.”

“...why do you like me?”

Donghyuck holds his breath, waiting for an answer. His cheeks flush pink and he stares down at his lap, too embarrassed to look Jeno in the eye.

Jeno giggles. “You’re cute.”

He narrows his eyes. “Is that all?”

“No,” Jeno continues with a laugh. “I mean, obviously at first that was a big part of it. But honestly? I saw you skating through the neighborhood and... I dunno. You had this carefree smile on your face and everyone was greeting you so enthusiastically. Like, I thought, this guy is so friendly and cares so much about the people in this town. You were totally radiant and I couldn’t look away. I guess from then on I just wanted to get to know you, but you didn’t make that very easy.”

Donghyuck’s whole body is burning in embarrassment now, the tips of ears tinged red. He’s so flustered by Jeno calling him _radiant_ that he can hardly form words. “J-Jeno, what the hell!” he splutters.

Jeno blinks at him, the picture of innocence.

“What?”

“You can’t just say shit like that,” Donghyuck protests. “When even was this? When did you see me boarding around?” He can’t remember the last time he felt carefree before today. He wracks his brain, trying to think of what Jeno could have possibly witnessed.

“Before we were fully moved in?” His brow furrows. “I think it was that first day, actually. Then later I saw you in the convenience store and kinda panicked.”

Donghyuck remembers that day — he and Jaemin had seen Jeno buying light bulbs and they’d shared awkward eye contact for a good ten seconds. He coughs in disbelief.

“Oh my god, so you liked me this entire time?!”

“Well, yeah. I thought that was kind of obvious.”

Donghyuck hides his face in his hands. He can’t believe this. “I’m so sorry, Jeno.”

Jeno shrugs. “Hey, it’s okay. You were going through some stuff.”

“Yeah.” 

Silence falls over them again, and Donghyuck is left thinking: now what? He knows what he _wants_ to do, but he also knows that’s not necessarily the best course of action right now. He’s apologized and he’s ready to be better, but that’s easier said than done.

“Jeno… I really like you,” Donghyuck suddenly confesses. He takes Jeno’s other hand in his and turns to face him. Jeno’s cheeks are pink and his mouth is slightly open, and it makes Donghyuck’s heart soar. He gulps. “I really want to date you, but… but I think I need to sort out my shit first? I just… I don’t think it’s fair for you to enter a relationship when I’m still working through all these negative feelings. I know I’d just sabotage us when they come back up again, which I’m sure they will. And I want us to start off on the right foot, you know?”

Jeno takes a moment to digest this. Donghyuck tries to read his face, but all he can glean is vague disappointment. His heart drops.

“Right, of course. I understand,” Jeno says.

“I’m sorry.” Donghyuck squeezes his hands, trying desperately to convey how much he wishes things were easier. “Really, I’m sorry.”

“Hyuckie, it’s okay.” Jeno smiles and squeezes back. “I really like you too. And I want to do this right. I’ll wait for you.”

It’s getting harder and harder to hold back his tears, but Donghyuck swallows down his sadness as best as he can.

“One more kiss?” he asks.

Jeno reaches up to pull a stray leaf out of Donghyuck’s hair. “One more kiss,” he says. And he leans in.

  
  


***

  
  


_One Month Later_

“Jeno, holy shit, how are you this bad?” Donghyuck laughs, reaching out to steady Jeno where he teeters dangerously on the skateboard.

“It’s hard to balance!” Jeno complains. He can hardly stand up straight without the skateboard moving violently to either side. Donghyuck would be more concerned if it wasn’t so adorable to watch him flounder, tongue between his teeth and eyebrows furrowed.

“Aren’t you a wrestler?” He laughs again. “You’re supposed to have good balance!”

“Well, yeah, but this thing has wheels!” Jeno pouts and wobbles some more, using Donghyuck’s arms as an anchor. “How do you guys make this look so easy?”

It’s been a few days since they began Jeno’s skateboarding lessons. Jeno has hardly moved past learning how to stand on the board without falling, much to his dismay. He insists that he’s ready for more, but Donghyuck has already had to tend to two skinned knees this week. Even in full gear Jeno could get hurt — and he’s precious cargo. Donghyuck isn’t going to risk it, no matter how little of the summer is left.

“It just takes practice, babe,” Donghyuck says with a snort. “Come on, let’s go meet the others at the skate park so you can see some _real_ skaters in action.”

They walk through the neighborhood, shoulder to shoulder. Donghyuck’s fingers twitch when they brush against Jeno’s; he wants to hold his hand so badly. But they haven’t crossed that line since their conversation at the creek, and they won’t cross it until Donghyuck says it’s okay.

Jeno has been so patient. Donghyuck is beyond grateful for that.

The neighborhood aunties greet them as they walk by. Donghyuck smiles and waves, and Jeno stops to pet Ms. Norris’ dogs. As they turn the corner they run into a group of grade schoolers drawing on the sidewalk with chalk. Jihye, their favorite eight year old, abandons her drawing immediately to come say hi.

“Jeno oppa!” she greets, eyes gleaming. She sees the skateboard in Jeno’s arms and the helmet on his head and gasps. “Are you learning to skateboard?”

“Oh, yeah, Hyuckie’s teaching me,” Jeno answers. “Do you know how to skateboard, Jihye?”

“Yeah. I can teach you some cool tricks,” Jihye says, batting her eyelashes. “I’ve heard I’m a really good teacher.”

Donghyuck has reached a place now where he can shrug off being ignored by a child, but this he won’t stand for. His mouth falls open in a scoff. “Hey, back off, kid,” he says with a laugh. “This one’s mine.”

Jihye pouts. Not a moment later she’s being called over by her friends, and she’s gone as quickly as she’d come. Jeno laughs and turns to Donghyuck.

“I’m yours, huh?” The look on his face is so hopeful that Donghyuck feels his heart leap in his chest.

“Yeah,” Donghyuck breathes. Cautiously, carefully, he links his pinky with Jeno’s and tugs. “And I’m ready to be yours, if you’ll have me.”

Jeno smiles blindingly bright. He steps closer, brushing their noses together.

“I thought you’d never ask.”


End file.
